Today is January 31st. The first month of my World Race journey in Uganda is coming to an end. As my squad spend the last few days here for debrief (four days for us to rest, reflect and refocus), I feel like this would be a good time to summarize all that happened in the past few weeks.
In case you are about to stop reading because you saw how long this post is…….Well, I can summarize it for you. The journey so far has changed me. Not only had it made me want to really follow Jesus wholeheartedly but also found the joy of being a follower of Christ.
Ok! If you really aren’t going to finish this whole post, let me just encourage you to surrender everything (good and bad) to God because He has a plan for you. I am certain about that. Let Him to fill your schedule; put Him first in your daily life; seek Him in all the decision you make. Then you will know He is real and He is Love.
Still here? Cool beans! Hop into the rollercoaster of my words and let’s ride!
Basically this month can be divided into two parts: Training camp and 8 days in Northern Uganda. This post mostly will talk about the first part.
Fusion Squad
So back in October I decided to follow God’s will and switch to the Fusion Squad I am in now. What is the difference you may ask? Fusion squad is a group of 20 that does this “ATL” (ask the Lord) thing for the entire 11 months. We know the 11 countries that we are going to but we won’t be given any instruction on what we will be doing. We need to plan our travel, transportation, lodging, food, activities, and…pretty much everything on our own. Realistically it looks a little like this: Arrive at the airport, spend some times (could be days) to pray and ask where the Lord leads us, the chances are we may go to somewhere 12 hours away up in the mountain or stay locally in downtown. We may spend a whole day with just one person if that’s whom God wants us to pray for; we may spend a week at an orphanage or hospital; we may preach in churches for hours; we may walk 10 miles a day to a village because God said so. There are thousand possibilities of what will happen but the bottom line is this: Ask God first. “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.” Hebrews 3:15 NIV
It sounds pretty adventurous right? I was so excited until the day 2 of training camp.
I wanted to quit. I wanted to leave. I felt like this race wasn’t for me.
Training Camp
Unlike the other World Race routes, Fusion is the only squad that has training in the first country instead of spending 10 days at the AIM site in Gainesville, Georgia. In fact, we are the first fusion squad that did this in Africa. Even most of the staffs who planned the training have never been to Uganda and faced many unknown (Shout out to the staffs! Y’all made everything happened!!! ). The Lord blessed us to stay at this place called RTC (Reform Theological College) 45 minutes away from downtown Kampala. Unlike training camp in Georgia (which I went to before I switched route), everything is real deal here. I mean we received training while we were on the mission field since day one. When you had difficulties to communicate with the local is real. When the squad used too much water and we have none to flush the toilet and shower is real. When we worshiped with no professional band or musical instrument but we sang songs of the top of our heads (sometimes we didn’t even remember the lyrics) is real. When all the teaching (which was A LOT) were done by our two amazing coaches – Mama K & Papa T, is real. When we went out on the street and ministered the people, some who lived in poor condition, is real. When we ate the same beans and rice everyday yet learned how to appreciate the Lord’s blessings is real. When the students at the college bought you gifts with the little money they had is real. When we were challenged to surrender everything to become Jesus’ followers is real. When I had difficulty getting along with squad mates is real. When we have no wifi for a week is real. When the reality hit me suddenly and realized I was about to live a missionary life for a year is real. When I missed Sierra is real. When I felt sad is real. When the enemy told me I didn’t belong is real. When I wanted to quit is real.
One day we were asked to seek God to give us someone specific to pray for as we went out to the village. I heard nothing from God while other squadmates shared their amazing stories. I played with the kids, prayed for some people, talked about their struggles and such. Yet I felt extremely discouraged because I couldn’t hear God. I began to doubt if I made the right choice to join Fusion Squad. I started to think I was just a naive 30 years old man hoping to change the world when I couldn’t even help myself. As I was in my discomfort sweaty clothes that afternoon, I said to myself “I should quit. I probably will give up just like I have always been. God didn’t call me to do anything. It was all me.”
The Choice
I didn’t expect any of this from the training camp especially I have already been through it once. This time God broke down many of my beliefs, knowledge, thoughts, walls, habits, feelings……Basically when Jesus said “Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:38-39 He meant it. If I choose to pick up the cross, I won’t have any more room for “Me & myself”. I have to let go and let God. Papa T said “Life equals ministry, ministry equals life.” is true. The moment I signed up for World Race, I picked up the cross. It is a lifelong commitment. Being a follower of Christ isn’t 11 months, it is eternal. You can’t serve God and money at the same time. You can’t follow Jesus and your own flesh at the same time. You can’t sacrifice nothing and expect God to produce fruit in your life. In that moment I know I needed to choose. I needed to choose wisely.
I chose the cross and I need to continue to make the same desicion daily.
Good news is: God is love. He loves us even when we fail because He never fails us. He led me out of my comfort zone not to put me in danger but to show me that He is my comfort zone during the unknown. He asked me to surrender everything to follow Him because I can trust Him to take care of it for me. He called me to be His disciple because there are a lot of people hasn’t received Christ. He is the good Shepard. His goodness and mercy has been and will continue to follow me. His plan is for us but not against us. One night during worship at camp, I turned my face to a wall because I didn’t want others to see me cried. Mama K walked up to me and said “God just told me to tell you that you are at the right place.” Since then, God reaffirmed that I am in the right Race, right squad and right place with Him over and over. I worry so much about the future, and simply forget that God thinks about my future more than I do.
I wish I could go more in depth about everything that happened during training. However, it won’t do you any good to keep on reading about how God changed me. What matter is I hope at least there’s a slight chance that my words will draw you closer to God? It is a relationship between you and Him. It is a story between you and the One who died for your sins. It is a journey between you and Jesus.
“You can worship God even when you are enjoying food or driving. He can speak to you through the nature, pop songs, magazine, or a sport game. Following Jesus doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go on mission trip, volunteer at a homeless shelter, or spend all your days serving at church. When God opens a door for you, just say yes and go. That’s following Jesus” – Nat Lee
