Community, Perspective, and Giving my ‘Yes’

Community is a choice.

The past couple days the Lord has been teaching me about community. And about giving my “Yes”.

Back at training camp, Adventures in Missions introduced us to the term, “Giving our Yes.” This means our being in a place before God that we have told Him “Yes” even before He asks. In our community, giving our “Yes” means that we have chosen to support, trust, and love our team, regardless of what might happen. It’s like a commitment: to God, our team, and also to ourselves. Committed to believing that, as a child of the King, I am so worthy that living out of insecurities is a shame to myself. 

Giving our “Yes” creates a beautiful culture. And I mean beautiful. I have never felt so free to be me than around these people who have given me their “Yes” and have thus created a space around ourselves that is a safe place to fail. 

However, as to be expected, even in a community so amazingly fantastic, we all make mistakes, and sometimes we forget to give others a safe place to fail. The other day, giving my “Yes” was a challenge, and emotionally a struggle, but by the grace of God, my community’s “Yes” for me and God’s constant “Yes” for me pulled me back up. Community is a choice, and this is most clearly expressed when my “Yes” fails.

For the past two months my team has consisted of the same seven people: Kaelyn, David, Hannah, Hayden, Isaac, our alumni team leader Sydney, and me. But this month, we have had the pleasure of being joined by one of our alumni squad leaders, Madison Goforth. First off, Madison is the bomb. I love her so much. She brings so much wisdom, joy, and humility everywhere she goes, and the Lord has taught me so much through her.

And what’s extra special is the beautiful friendship that Madison and Sydney share. The two of them were on the same World Race squad together a year ago and are very close. But the enemy is always trying to pollute what the Lord has made beautiful. As I saw the close friendship between Madison and Sydney, the enemy planted seeds of jealousy and resentment against them and convinced me that I was being rejected by two of the people whom I greatly admire and love the most.

In addition to the “Yes” we have each given each other on our whole squad, on our little team of seven we have created team norms that we want to create our team culture around. A few of these are “A safe place to fail,” “Preferring someone over yourself,” “No gossip,” and “Reading Scripture together.” Our commitment to these norms have created a beautiful environment, but in this example, I forgot them. I didn’t say anything to Madison, Sydney, or anyone else about these thoughts, but the rejection and resentment was growing in my heart and as a result, I am sure that I was started to avoid them. It was awful.

Later that evening, I had a chance to hang out with just Sydney and as we were talking, I felt a burning desire to get this off my chest. We have built up such a trust that I felt comfortable sharing this with her. I told her that I was hurt by the way that I saw her hanging out with only Madison and that I felt ignored by her. And Sydney responded with the most grace and love that I think is physically possible. First, she listened. She didn’t defend herself or belittle my emotions, she just listened. Second, she spoke the truth. She said that she wasn’t trying to explain herself, but wanted to help me understand what was really going on. As she had told us before, the assumption is that everyone is always welcome. Our whole team was always welcome to hang out with her and Madison. And third, she gave perspective. She reminded me that Madison had just come to this team, a team that is already thriving and established, and needs to be welcomed too.

While it was kind of uncomfortable admitting the lies that I was believing to Sydney, I am so glad that I did. Because, that is all that they were, lies. I had forgotten the truths about my team that I knew to be true, and had chosen to step back into rejection. But Sydney chose to believe the best about me and uphold our team norms to bring me back to the place she knew I wanted to be. Thank you God for a good healthy team! 

After my talk with Sydney, my perspective and way of thinking completely flipped on its head. Instead of walking in self-pity and rejection, I began thinking about Madison and how she must feel. As I wrote in my journal the next morning: “How must Madison feel? Thrown into this new strong community. No wonder she’s turning to Syd! How can I welcome her and make her feel loved best?” Thank you God for the ability to have a change in perspective!

While we are on the World Race, we are traveling around the world sharing the love of God with everyone we meet. But we are also learning to live in community and how to interact with each other in a healthy, Biblical way, just like it says to in Romans 12:9-21.

⁹Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰ Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹ Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. ¹⁷ Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸ If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. ¹⁹ Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” ²⁰ To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.