Last night I text a dear friend of mine. The message simply said:
¨Sometimes I wonder… Am I just running away from adult life because I don´t want to do it anymore? Is this my way of pretending my problems don´t exist for a year?¨
She simply responded with ¨You know this is your calling.¨
So my question is why is it so easy to let sin and doubt creep back into our lives? In a past blog, I listed many, but not nearly all, of the blessings God has provided for me through preparing for this trip. I could write six more posts just like that. I could list pages and pages of the many ways God has shown up for me, how he has provided for me, how he continues to show me that this is his plan for my life.
How dare I question that?! How dare I let something small completely alter my mindset and make me question the HUGE things God continues to do for me. Who am I to look at God and say, well yes you have done this long list of things… but are you sure? That is like Moses placing his staff into the water of the red sea, watching it split revealing completely dry land, then looking back up at God and asking ¨Are you sure that is where you want us to cross?¨ How much more obvious can God make it?
Nothing brings me more joy than to tell people about this amazing opportunity that God has given me. It is the one thing that will always bring a smile to my face. It will always bring tears to my eyes. It will always warm my heart. I have such a passion, love and excitement for what God is bringing me into. That doesn´t mean that I am not also scared, nervous, and have fears of the what ifs. But yet when I share it with others and I get the questions of what about your job? your insurance? your dogs? your (fill in the blank), my only answer is God will provide. And I say it with such confidence and assurance. Because he already has, so why would he stop now?
One thing I will admit to though is the pain that comes with those questions. The small jab that comment makes at my heart. And I know with each of those questions comes deep care and love from that person. Don´t get me wrong… so many people have reacted to my news with hugs and squeals and pure excitement. But when their first reaction is overwhelming questions of ¨what if¨ and ¨how could you do that¨, ¨do you really think that is a wise choice¨ or my favorite ¨have you even thought about this¨. Those are the comments that tempt that sin back into my life. (Now in no way am I blaming this on anyone that makes those comments, for I am also grateful that they care enough to ask them). However, I then begin to ask those questions.
So here is to all the people that question me and that are not sure this is a great life choice for me..I have two things to ask of you. First, I ask is that you pray. All those concerns and worries that you have just pray for me about them. They are real concerns and they are things I am working through. So call me, pray with me, take an extra minute in your quiet time to pray for me. That is what I truly need. Prayer will help me more than anything else. Because God is bigger then any problem I may encounter. He already has this figured out. He has the perfect plan. I just need to joyfully trust him. And that brings me to the second thing I ask of you, be excited with me. Be excited about this crazy adventure God has called me into. God´s calling for my life.
