I’ve lived a
rather blessed life filled with love, encouragement, and its fair share of
challenges or stretching moments. I grew up in a Christian home – and ever since I
can remember, I had an awareness of Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit in
my life. I prayed to accept Jesus as my Savior when I was 5 or 6, but it wasn’t
until I was 13 that I decided to take this commitment more seriously, making Christ Lord of my life. At Whited Bible Camp, I
surrendered my life to Christ and felt the fire of the Holy
Spirit burst from my heart. It was then that the Holy Spirit awakened my heart
– and brought me to life in Christ … which as my life continued on, has sustained
me even through the toughest, and seemingly darkest of times.
My life changed
forever when I was 16 – everything I had ever known to be true about family,
love, marriage, the church, myself – it all exploded right before my eyes –
along with my heart. It was Easter Sunday of 2004, and I had just returned home
from church – greeted by my parents in our driveway, I soon discovered they had
some rather important news to share with me. Standing in my bedroom that
afternoon, I heard the most awful thing of my entire life – my parents were
getting a divorce. I was crushed and felt helpless – I knew I needed to remain
strong for my family, but inside I had combusted into millions of broken,
shattered pieces.
I spent the entire
summer angry at God – I didn’t understand how a God so loving could somehow let
my parents, who had been married for 17 years fall out of love! Up until this
point I had continued attending church – week after week with my plastic smile
indicating everything was just fine – and no one really ever sought to know
otherwise. Eventually this got exhausting – so one hot, humid, August evening I
decided to go to church one last time. I must confess – reflecting on that
night, I do not remember the words that were spoken, or the songs that were
sung – all I remember are those final moments of the service when I found
myself on my knees at the altar. It was in this moment that I surrendered
complete control of every hope, dream, desire, plan,and relationship – and I
committed to trust God to put my family back together.
Three days later I
came home from work and found my mom crying on the couch. She had spent the
better part of the day on the phone with a woman of faith – and she wanted to
get back together with my dad! This blessed my heart, but God wasn’t finished
yet. Over the next month, I watched God take my family and bring it back
together piece, by piece, by piece, by piece, by broken piece, and in September
of 2004 (just 6 months after my parents divorce announcement) I stood at that
same altar and watched my parents recommit their marriage to the Lord!
It was
in this moment that I realized the pivotal truth shown to us in 2 Cor. 12:9,
“God’s grace is sufficient and in our weakness, Christ’s strength is made
perfect.” We serve a God who has the power to restore – to make all things
new – to heal brokenness – regardless of how complicated, hurtful, or far from
perfect things may seem. God restored my family, and knit us back together as a
solid unit.
God has also been faithful to the rest of that prayer I prayed in deep desperation – He has taken my heart and given me dreams that far outweigh anything I could ever ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20). He has revealed His purpose for my life (Jeremiah 29:11), and reminded me to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23) as I patiently wait for Him to give me the ‘next step’ along life’s journey – baby step, by baby step, by baby step. My life – once orderly, and planned out is now resting and rejoicing, dancing even, in a daily walk of freedom, trust, uncomfortable faith, and adventure!
