A joyless servant. - Explore Archived World Race Alumni Blogs

I don’t know what it was, but last month I hit a wall. I
came to an abrupt halt and lost all joy. All joy for being in Thailand, all joy
for being in community, all joy in ministry, all joy period. I was broken and
didn’t even know why. I didn’t like Asia, I don’t feel called to Asia, I didn’t
like the food, I don’t understand a word anyone says, I didn’t feel like we
were doing “ministry”, I was overwhelmed with trying to be who I needed to be
for everyone, I was tired and couldn’t sleep, I was over it. What in the world?
I love to serve. Serve God, serve others, that is what I love to do. How can a
servant be joyless? This may sound like a pity party, but it isn’t, because I
have worked through it all. I have always felt the need to be transparent in my
blogs to give you a clear view of what I am truly experiencing on the race,
even though that is virtually impossible.

I just had a few days where
I didn’t even know what was going through my head, and I was too prideful to go
to my team with it all in fear of burdening them with it. This is my nature,
and I knew that I would finally break if I didn’t get it out. Well I didn’t, so
I eventually broke down. God put me through brokenness to show me I could
depend on Him, and solely on Him. Through His faithfulness, He began showing me
that although I came on the race and although having a heart for His children
around the World and a passion for expanding His kingdom, I was still searching
for joy when I already have an abundant source of it. God usually speaks to me
in a very simple manner, knowing I wouldn’t listen otherwise . . so hear is my
simple breakdown of what God taught me about joy last month.

What is joy?

“A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.” It should look like an imitation of Christ. We are called to shine as stars in the Universe. Through our joy in the Lord we (Christians) should be set apart from the World. – (Philippians 2)

Why should we
have it?

Because we have salvation through Christ. – (Isaiah 61:10)

When should we have it?

Always- (Philippians
4:4)
In all circumstances- (1 Thes. 5:16) We are to even rejoice amidst of trials life throws our way (James 1) and when we are persecuted for our beliefs (1 Peter 4:12-19).
Today- (Psalms 118:24)

How can we get
it?

Only through Christ can our joy be complete. – (John 15:11)

Who does it
affect?

The world- We are to praise the Lord, proclaiming His name and testifying to what he has done amongst the nations. We are to joyfully do these things in return for all He has done for us. – (Isaiah 12)
Sinners- (Psalms 51:12)

“Restore to me the joy of my salvation and
grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your
ways and sinners will turn back to you.” – (Psalms 51:12)

This one verse sums it up for me, and I truly have adopted
it as daily reminder for myself. We can only find joy in Him, and if for no other reason we can rejoice in our salvation we graciously receive from Him. From there, we should go forth and teach others about what we have. God wouldn’t give us a commandment we couldn’t
handle; therefore, it is possible to have this type of joy explained in His
word.

It is easy to find joy when doing the things we personally
“like” doing, but what about other things? Are you joyful even when you aren’t
necessarily comfortable or just when you have had a “good day”? I encourage you
to think about what kinds of things fool you into thinking you have joy, but not.
I consider myself a happy person, but this is what God has shown me . . Happiness
does not equal joy, but having joy can result in happiness. While they are
relative, they are not the same.
My source of joy is overflowing. What is your source of joy?

A few of the things that made me happy during my month in Thailand . .