Often I get this attitude that I’m not good enough. I get it when thinking about how smart others are in my family and I compare my self to them. I get it when thinking about how many times I have failed at something. I get it when I think about how much I’ve sinned.
I sin every day… I know that probably doesn’t come to a shock to some. But I struggle every day with sins. But then the devil grabs those sins and shoves them in my face and says see I got you, then I start to think about how I don’t deserve to be one of God’s chosen, how he choose me even though I’ve done so many things that any human in his position would say get lost. But he is still there he Loves me just as much the minuet before I sin as the moment I sin and the moment after.
So many times I struggle to comprehend that love. The Love that defeats everything. And I struggle with the fact that I’m not “Christian” enough or at least that’s what the devil wants me to think he uses the things that I’m weakest at even though I know that God Loves me no matter what.
I try so hard not to sin but I do…
I try so hard not to have a bad attitude but I do sometimes…
I try so hard…
But I always fall short…
I’m at peace that I always will fall short…
And the only thing that fixes all that is GOD’S LOVE
And that LOVE is final.
I have realized that even those that found favor in God still did not disserve his favor, well at least in the eyes of a lowly man. But God looks at everything through different eyes.
One day I hope that I can look at my self in a similar way and not beat my self up over all that I have done. Almost like a pair of God Goggles.
I feel so blessed that God loves me so but not just that but that he has called me to spread his love to the ends of the world.
God uses everyone even the lowly Christopher… Even YOU.
Please keep me in your prayers the devil is at every turn.
