Well here we are. One year later.
I’m sitting at my fabulous desk and can’t help but feel a small ache in my heart as I think back to what happened for eleven months. It’d be a shame to not reminisce but in the same breath Jesus is pushing me to more and more and as life unfolds, if I blink, it’ll be gone.
There’s something different about being home. There was something that was missing and it wasn’t til the other night when me, Jenni and Johnny rocked at United Pursuit Band’s Love War worship night, that it really hit me.
I’ve stopped listening as much.
I hear you. I know your mouth is moving and I’m fairly certain that I’m retaining most of what you’re saying but lately it’s become head knowledge.
Because in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I forget to let the words hit my heart.
Dang.
It’s not that I think people are unimportant, because I love people. Alot. I’m an extrovert; I thrive off of being surrounded by folks. And what you say is very important to me.
But when life gets busy, the phone starts calling me (still cant get used to that) and cars are literally zipping past me on the interstate, I don’t cower and hide.
Nope, I join that chaos and run with ‘em.
The sweet part about life on the Race is that you are a bystander to their lives. You don’t know the culture and your painfully out of place therefore you’re almost able to take yourself out of what is happening and truly reflect on the chaos surrounding you.
But here, you know it. You know the culture and it’s your chaos. So it’s easy to nose dive in and do the backstroke through the madness.
It kinda hurt my heart a little knowing that I could have sat and listened to her a while longer, or chilled and consoled him for a few more minutes, but in a way, I’m thankful for the wake up call.
Because the greatest folly here would be ignoring what I know, now.
I’m grateful that as a man with wild, blood shot eyes, screamed at my colleague about a $35 mishap, I felt a mini jolt. It felt like when we were kids and played that Operation game and when you hit the sides, it buzzed you. Subtle but gets the point across that you’ve erred. I was really bad at that game. I would have been a terrible surgeon.
Anyway, it woke me up. For a second I just stared at him but after he left, I realized something.
All he wanted was for someone to listen.
Most reactions from people aren’t because you did something. Usually it’s deeper. It’s a heart issue and most people want to be known and listened to.
So as I sit here at my day job and talk to customers and hang out watching the grass grow, I’m going to listen. I’m going to smile a lot and I’m going to pray that after they leave our office, their day is brighter and maybe just a little more joyful because they know somebody cares, really cares about how they’re doing. Jesus, shine through me. Whether we’re brainstorming with Your dream, flying to Kenya, leading bootcamps, at church or wherever you have us, please keep shining.
Thanks for your sweet revelations, Jesus. Keep 'em coming. I want more.
