I squirmed uncomfortably and looked around. Surely someone was deathly ill to emit such a heinous smell. I continued to sniff and investigate who it might be. Definitely not the person to my left. The only plausible explanation was the person to my right. Nope. I needed to find this human- they were obviously in dire straits and needed medical attention, stat. Imagine my utter shock when I discovered it was ME. I thought I melted into the seat from sheer embarrassment but alas, I did not. I pretended to stretch and smelled my Chacos. Oh my. That swift whiff stung my eyes and singed my nose hairs. Thanks feet. Way to represent. Some of you are familiar with this problem:
Chacos+wetness=stank
My sandals were giving the city dump a run for its money. Imagine roughly 1 in 3 wearing these delightful shoes. Did I mention there were 400 of us in that auditorium?
The other day when I asked God what a missionary is supposed to look like, I believe He almost fell on the floor…Laughing. He said He doesn't know what they look like either. Then He released me from the pressure of trying to be one.
When I signed up for the Race I stopped wearing makeup. Lasted 2 days- but still, I had this deranged notion that I was supposed to become earthy. All my life I've transformed into a product of my environment. In a month when I don't have my clothes, my foods, and in some cases, my freedom, then what? It's a daunting thought but it's realistic. I won't be able to hide behind my environment. I won't be able to pretend stuff is just dandy if it flat out stinks. Oh snap. That's a titch overwhelming.
But God stepped in and hollered through a giant megaphone:
"YOU ARE RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU!
Rest. Take it all in. Be you and love Me. Live for today. Love and be loved. Know I have great plans for you. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans for hope and a future. Know that when everything is gone, you are to stand, and I'll be there beside you, Beloved."
What freedom, knowing He's here. His grace is sufficient for me. So in this season and the next, I'm gonna love with the love God first gave me. I'm gonna thank Jesus He cared enough to be nailed on a tree. I'll tackle people with bear hugs as I say goodbye and relish the organzied chaos that is my life as I pack for the unknown. I'll demolish Chikfila and inhale Moe's nachos. Not because I'm leaving in 25 days. Not because I wont be able to do this for the next year. But because God calls us to live intentionally, wherever we are. Whatever we're doing. Tomorrow, whatever that brings, I'll embrace then. Because those worries are then and this is now, so let's live today.
