My last night in Guatemala I received a warning from God, though a man who is loved and respected by all of O squad, that I was a Jonah. Yes, the Jonah of the bible that ran from God. I was warned not to run from God, to not do what God has asked of me because I had to but because I want to. I’ve been thinking about this for the past two weeks trying to figure out what this means and how I have been acting like Jonah.
Honestly it didn’t take long to figure out how I act like Jonah, I act like him though my words. God will give me something to say to someone or a group and I don’t always speak or if I do I hesitate and wait past when God wanted me to speak. Other times people will ask a question about something and I may have an answer because of what I have learned in the past through life or school but I don’t say anything. Rather than physically running like Jonah did, I run mentally. I don’t speak up. Why? I’m still trying to figure that out completely myself. I guess part of the reason is that I am afraid, afraid of what people will think, of not saying something right, of not explaining fully, of tripping over my words, of being wrong, and I guess the list could go on. But the truth is that God has given me wisdom, He is the one who had given me a voice and I need to use it. He has taught me, given me the words so I need to declare them, to share them, and to do it as soon as God tells me to and not wait or hesitate.
So during our last worship service when we declared truth into our lives I declared freedom, freedom of my voice. And that night I started speaking out the words that God gave me for others. Did I hesitate, at first, but not as I became more confident. I know that this will be a daily process, something that I have to always remind myself of but I will. I have noticed that when I do hesitate I can hear a voice in the back of my mind telling me that I’m acting like Jonah. So I am here to be open and vulnerable with you all and declare that I am a Jonah no more! That I am confident! That God has given me all my words! That people want to hear them! That I will not stumble! That any fear that comes over me means that the enemy doesn’t want them out because they are powerful and full of life and truth! That I will no longer be a Jonah!
