The most frequently asked question of my life:
On a scale of a one to a ten how bad does it hurt?
By doctors by peers by my beloved parents
What does it mean to you?
What was once an eight is now a three.
What is my five is a pain you've never experienced.
And at a nine I'm ready for my last breath at any minute, I don't expect to survive, there's no way it can get worse..and then it does. I always live to see the morning even though five seconds feels impossible to survive.
At a very young age I knew that no one felt what I felt.
The pain I felt was unrealistic to people.
And the reaction I got was sad.
People were sorry for me.
I had come to a fork in my road:
I could indulge in the pain I feel, living a life of sympathy and sadness. Or i could look past myself and live for others.
I chose the latter.
In my opinion,
It was the second best decision I've ever made. (Choosing Jesus is my first).
It wasn't easy.
When pain comes the natural instinct is to stop and align your focus on the hurt.
I trained myself to do the opposite.
Once i become aware of the pain i immediately turn my gaze upon anything other than myself.
and after much practice I've mastered it.
Its suffering made easy.
It made life worth living.
It was humbling
And challenging
And exhilarating
When you learn how to conquer pain you feel amazing!
Should everyone ignore pain? No.
But for me, it works.
It makes life so much sweeter.
I'm thankful for the strength and joy Jesus has blessed me with.
I know that not anyone could live like this.
Actually, I don't know anyone else that DOES live like this!
I don't expect people to understand.
I don't expect people to agree.
But I will leave with a challenge.
The next time you find yourself in a hard place, whether its during a marathon and your second wind has died or it's an incurable disease running its course in your best friend, start reciting things that your thankful for. For me, it puts my life into perspective. I'm just one small human in a very large world.
