For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs —heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Romans 8:14-17
I renounced ministry and any kind of outward service for Jesus when I left the church in 2006. At the time, I was burned out on serving and felt inauthentic every time I stood on a stage for worship or led a Bible study. Even after Jesus reconciled me to Him in 2011, my heart was hard for ministry. The spotlight equated with hypocrisy and I didn't trust myself, and ultimately God, to stay real. It was too easy to strive for righteousness and perfection when others were watching–so why would I risk losing everything real I had?
Going into training camp at White, Georgia this past week, I was honestly apprehensive about the experience. Being from San Francisco, where diversity of all kinds is as common as compost bins and granola, my idea of Southerners and Midwesterners definitely skewed towards the Bill O'Reilly Show and caricatures on television.
Thank you, Jesus, that I am constantly wrong.
I had the opportunity to meet 52 of the most amazing brothers and sisters, whose hearts are and have always been so tender towards the Lord. There was a lot of teaching about sonship and the Holy Spirit the first few days, and even though most of my squadmates had not been exposed to the works of the Spirit, their bottom line was "I want Jesus, in any form. End of story." What beautiful hearts! It was such a blessing to see people transform from the first to the last day of training camp in the freedom they worshipped God and pursued His promises.
53 people and their packs sleeping for one night on a school bus.
My squad makeup is about 12 men and 41 women, and they are all such powerful lovers. Every time I was running late in packing up (which we had to do almost every morning before 7AM) or struggling with lugging my pack around, there was always a brother to help. These seem like small things, but it was so humbling for me to accept their service and to see how they willingly served without expectation. I am excited for how much life these brothers will speak over me and my sisters, and I am glad for my idea of men to be redeemed by these mighty sons of God.
As for the women, WOW! Each woman on my sqad is a beautiful work of the Father, and I just saw strength and majesty pulsating from each one. The Lord breathed life specifically into my heart for the women this year! I received a prophetic word from one of my pastors last February 2011 when I was wrecked from this world, and the word was that my real destiny lay in building up and speaking life into women. At the time, it made no sense. I've always been a 'guy's girl', with the majority of my friends being male. I work in construction, for goodness sake! I've since put this prophetic word on the backburner until this past week. God did so much this past year to prepare my heart for missions and to serve others. I felt like the Father was finally saying it was time for me to step into my destiny, to speak life to women knowing that I had experienced much of the same brokenness in my past. In doing so, God's redeeming work could be on display and I would know how free I really was!
During a service, one of my squad leaders Robby Riggs (World Race alumni who lead the squad for the first 4 months before choosing from our squad for new leaders) approached me and released me to minister in the house. The Lord had been filling me with passion for my squadmates and had been speaking to me about how much freedom I already possessed that was ready to be shared. After being released by Robby, I felt like I was stepping more fully into the will of God! For each woman I prayed for, the Father would show me His heart for His beloved daughter and how much freedom, glory, and honor He had for her. I was wrecked with love for them all week, and I think Jesus was just giving me a preview of the rest of my life.
I have been poured into so much by my home community, Ark Ministries. I never realized until I was in another setting what spiritual giants each one of them are, and how little ole' me stands on their shoulders. I have been fed and taught and nurtured by them for years, and now the Lord is telling me I am equipped! And my heart is telling me I am ready! Ready to serve, ready to minister, ready to bring life and Kingdom for the love of the Father! My ministry is one of life and not death, and I prophetically speak over myself and my squad that everything we do shall prosper in this season because we are beloved by our heavenly Daddy. We are not lost within the house (eldest son in Luke 15) or outside the house (prodigal son in Luke 15). Rather, we are all serving our inheritance with the heart of the Luke 15 father, with the ability to outrageously love the prodigal, and establish sonship and freedom in the eldest son.
Jesus told me to not fear serving, that my Daddy would never let me stray into hypocrisy or false religion because my true heart is to love Him. He can do anything with a yielded heart. And so, I'm pleased to introduce you to my team of 7 that I will be serving and following for this next year. Team Hebron is Michael Nicosia (team leader), Jacob McLafferty, Megan Bland, Emmaly Carney, Stephanie Vergara, Amy Weiss and myself. We do not go to where the land is blessed, rather we bring the blessing and the Kingdom. I am fortunate to learn and to serve alongside these amazing sons and daughters of God, please keep us in your prayers!
Clockwise: Michael, Jacob, Emmaly, Stephanie, Amy, Megan, and Myself
