One 40-minute ride in a truckbed later (during which it rained and a bird pooped on me), my team and I are walking house to house with a local pastor and a translator delivering testimonies and praying for people. I always enjoy opportunities to listen on-the-spot to what the Spirit is saying, and this time it is no different. I share a testimony about the freedom I’ve found in the Lord, someone else delivers a word, yet another teammate leads us in prayer.
Our usual ride in Nicaragua.
At the second house we visit, we’re greeted by four women and a small girl—most of whom are ill. My team leader, Michael, challenges their faith (and mine!) in asking if they believe that they will be healed upon us praying for them. The women say yes, they believe, and as we pray for them they tell us they feel their sickness lifting.
For myself, I don’t feel a strong urging from the Spirit to say or do anything in particular for these women; but after Michael prays for one woman named Salita, he instructs me to continue praying for her. As I lay hands on her and begin to pray, the Spirit speaks to me about the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:1-26) and the story of the adulteress in John 8:2-11.
Who are these women? Ones who felt unworthy to be loved, ones that society was quick to condemn and scamper away from.
In reflecting on these stories, I pray acceptance over Salita, that the Father has already spoken His approval over her before she did a single thing. I rebuke the shame off of her that women so easily accept from the catcalls of men and the words of other women. I speak the tender love of the Father over her. Halfway through my non-translated English prayers her and I are both weeping, and the Lord gives me the privilege of experiencing His heart for Salita.
At the last house we visit, my team meets a woman named Fanny who has an entire wall in her house plastered with photos of American models. I see make-up ads, pages from Victoria’s Secret, and celebrity magazine covers collaged together with a sizable mirror hung in the center. Fanny lives with her partner (what they say here if the couple is unmarried), Rolando.
The women on my team have alone time with Fanny while the men talk outside the house, and in that time we all declare truths from the Father.
You are beautiful. You are beloved. You are approved. You are pure.
It constantly rocks me that God doesn’t see us the way we think we deserve, or the way the church thinks we deserve. Instead, He sees us through the redemptive blood of Jesus. He sees us with eyes of love.
I see the battle on Fanny’s face. She tears up and then immediately shuts down, her expression softens and then she defensively asserts that she’s fully confident in herself and her body.
You are loved, you are loved, you are loved. For who you are now, and not who you can be or what you can do.
Why do we always think the Lord is unhappy with us and wants to change us into someone ‘better’? It’s unbiblical. My salvation is not even a part of my own effort, it’s 100% Jesus’ and I’m just here to accept it. And in accepting Jesus’ sacrifice, I am privileged in knowing that when the Father looks at me He does not see my depravity or my sin, but He sees a daughter that He loves and delights in. Not because I’ve earned it, but simply because that is how a relationship with a father and a daughter works. No works necessary to earn or deserve love. The price for sin has already been paid up, so why would I live in the past?
I digress.
The Lord is in the redemption business, I’m learning. With encountering Fanny and Salita, I see bits of myself in them. Salita’s tender yearning to be loved and accepted; Fanny’s defensive glint in her eye that dares anyone to challenge or criticize her. I have been both of them. And in having walked in both of their shoes, I have experienced the Lord’s healing, grace, and hope. I never would have thought even 2 years ago that I would be the woman on the other side speaking the Lord’s truth and walking in His gentleness.
Sisters, I see where you are and I’ve been where you’re going. The Lord is romancing you even at this very second, He is reconciling you to His heart for He desires to be with you. I say yes and amen to who you are and where you’re going. It is a good path.
