The start of Africa has been hard for me, this month began with intense culture shock and being on a new team. Changing countries each time brings about a moment of hesitation as we walk into the unknown and a season of adjusting to new cultures and new ministry. Over the past 6 months we had been traveling through Asia, while each of the 6 countries were unique they each had their own cultural difference and nuances that we had to adjust to. Then we fly into Africa, and there was this immediate awareness, that things were much different than I was use to and that it had the possibility of being a challenging month. In the first two weeks of this month, I had become consumed with focusing on the hard and the challenging situations of the country, of Africa, of this ministry and of my new team. I focused so hard on them that every situation or shift in situations increased in me a spirit of anxiety, which distracted me from the Lord. I became consumed, by everything, the dusty roads outside our house, the loud sounds in the market, the gross smell of fish, and the constant presence of people.
I am a person who thinks a lot, about situations, about myself- in how I am acting, reacting, interacting, and what is going on around me, so I can fix anything that is off. I spent the begging of the month, so wrapped up in my thoughts I found myself, not actually apart of anything, I was made ineffective, in ministry, for my team, and for myself. My team would often ask what was wrong, or if I needed to talk, but I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, all I knew and understood was that I was anxious and that made me frustrated, which made me more anxious, which made me more frustrated. Then Karissa, our resident Squad Leader for the month, asked to talk with me and pray with me, as it was kind of noticeable I was not being myself! So, while we were talking, I was more rambling out all of my thoughts, and she was more so sharing encouragements on how to not be so overcome with my thoughts.
While we were talking, I was telling Karissa, how when I get so lost in my thoughts and worries, it is hard to see God’s faithfulness and goodness. Then there was a man who was very drunk walked up to us, whom I thought was begging, and as I asked what he wanted, he became agitated. He began quoting John 1:1, and saying, “I am not a beggar, I am not a beggar, you are a missionary and I am in need of spiritual assistance, I want to not drink alcohol anymore!” We found out his name is Freddie, and were able to talk to him for a bit, to hear his struggles with alcohol. So, he sat between Karissa and we prayed for him, to be free of the desire for alcohol, to have a healthy body restored from the damage of alcohol, and to find a job. I prayed that this man “would know the DEEP faithfulness and goodness of the Lord” literally moments after I said about myself it is hard to see God in that way. The Lord took that moment, and began to minister to my heart, concerning my anxiety over being in Africa, for this ministry, for my new team, and for the end of the race coming so quickly, and yet not fast enough!
The next morning, I opened my favorite devotional to share on blogs, which is Streams In The Desert. It is a devotional for people going through time that are a struggle, and that looks different in everyones life. It can look like an illness, or a relationship struggle, It could look like an addiction or anxiety, or it can look like the Lord feeling so far away when you feel so desperate for Him to be so very present. As I read through the devotional, some things stood out to me, that I really wanted to share. Between my conversation with Karissa, praying for Freddie, and this devotional, my month turned around so quickly. By the last week and half in Malawi, I found myself, being myself, and feeling at peace. I found joy in the hard things, and found beauty in Malawi!
So, I want to encourage you, with this devotional from Streams In The Desert— That when anxieties rise, or fear is looming in, when the lists of things to do is longer than the hours made available to do them, when the frustrations of everyday life become arduous, and the freshness and goodness of the Lord seems stale, I urge you to pray, find a person who loves the Lord to talk to and pray with you, and know the Lord will reveal His goodness to you. The Lord wants to encourage to be steadfast in Hebrews 12:1, saying, “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and lets us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
There are certain things that are not sins themselves but that tend to weigh us down or become distractions and stumbling blocks to our Christian growth. One of the worst situations that becoming a distraction or a stumbling block is the feeling of despair or hopelessness. A heavy heart will surely drag us down in our holiness and usefulness. We should never give our freedom to doubt God or His external love and faithfulness toward us in everything.
Then we stand firm, refusing to doubt the Holy Spirit will come to our aid, giving us the faith of God and crowning us with victory. It is very easy to fall into the habit of doubting, worrying, wondering if God has forsaken us, and thinking that after all we have been through, our hopes are going to end in failure. Let us refuse to be discouraged and unhappy, “Let us consider it pure joy”- James 1:2 even when we do not feel any happiness. Let us rejoice by faith, by firm determination and simply regarding it as true, and we will find that God will make it real to us.
The devil has to discourage us, to make us ineffective for awhile, then tempt us with out, thereby breaking the bond of faith that unites us with the father. Always remember, the devil is out to steal, kill and destroy, John 10:10 – Be urgent to pray- when you find something that is pulling you down, speak it, to the Lord, and to another- Prayer is a very powerful weapon!
-Watch Out!- Do Not Be Tricked –
-Refuse to be discouraged, and unhappy, choose joy in every situation! –
This past week I was talking with a family member, who had received a discouraging email from a church acquaintance, and it hurt this family member tremendously. My family member got stuck in the cross fire of miscommunication, and through it some church members chose to not be the hands and feet on Jesus (which sadly happens often in the church), the church member chose to tear down my family member, and bring in other people along with it. After having spent 10 months on the World Race, and spending day after day, learning to look more and more like Christ, through community and feedback, my heart broke alongside of my family member. I encouraged this person, to pray first, seek the truth in the situation, find the peace of the Lord in it, and then communicate the hurt, then original intentions that lead to the miscommunication and the following situation, and to for my family member to communicate their intentions for continued interactions with this community. I don’t know what my family member did with it, but, a lot of times, after the initial hurt, if we choose to take it to the Lord, and we find peace, we find clarity and discernment and we as believers are able to grow and be more like Christ. But, from the world race, I have learned that community, is not about living a selfish life, only seeking for our own selves to be more like Christ, but coming along side of one another and calling each other higher to look more like Him! As people, we are eager to shrug our terrible behavior toward each other off with some elaborate justification and then solidify it with affirmation of a second party, but, I urge you to call the brothers and sisters of the Lord in your life higher, to live lives that look actually like Christ, to be the hands and feet of Jesus, come alongside of them and pray through the hard moments of shedding the old ugly parts of our selves and praying through the growing of the new. Then when you are struggling with the things that entangle you, you know that you have a fellow believer, that will call you higher, because when that believer was entangled you prayed with them through their situations. Jesus calls us to LOVE one another, not, He says its the greatest commandment, and that doesn’t mean it is easy, it takes work, and intentionality.
Choose JOY
Choose Peace
Choose Love
Check your heart constantly, and if your thoughts or actions are not honoring and glorifying God, pray, and seek accountability!
