I am a youth counselor at a group home for teens with mental illnesses. There have been several times in the last 15 months where I was powerless to help some of the teens I was working with. This past Sunday was one of those days. Without going in to too many details for the sake of privacy, my coworker and I basically had to save a kid’s life for about 2 hours. In that time, I was exposed to the child’s blood, had to work with police, and felt powerless to help.
In those moments, I did not immediately turn to God, but eventually I did and I prayed for his sovereignty over the situation. I spoke scripture to the client because he/she had identified as a religious. Nothing would work.
Out of control.
I have definitely had much harder nights at work this year. A lot of tough situations. This was probably the toughest as far as duration of the crisis and the extent of the depravity I was witnessing.
Driving home from work that night, I was replaying the situation in my head and wasn’t paying attention to the task at hand. I ended up getting pulled over for going 71mph in a 50mph zone. RECKLESS.
Out of control.
What did I do in this situation?
Cried like a baby. Full on gasping, nearly-hyperventilating-type crying.
The officer came to the window and I was already past the point of no return with the tears. I tried to explain to him what had been going on, I informed him that there were police reports that he could look at. I encouraged him to check my driving record to see that I had not gotten a ticket in 5 years and I try so hard to not speed.
He had already written the ticket. He reduced it to a “failure to obey a highway sign.” Told me that it would be about $92. I was devastated. I don’t exactly have money laying around that I want to spend on a ticket.
Out of control.
I prayed for God’s sovereignty over my own life. I prayed for his provision over my finances. I have been very diligent in saving and support raising for the World Race and to have to pay a ticket really caused me to feel guilty, disappointed and out of control.
As I drove home after getting the ticket, I realized that God was working despite my sense of being out of control. I could have gotten a RECKLESS driving ticket!!!! By the Grace of God it was dropped down. It could have been a misdemeanor that stayed on my record for 11 years. I could have lost my job because of it.
He is the Helper.
He is in Control.
He is ALL POWERFUL.
I don’t need to be these things.
I have prayed His peace over myself the last couple of days. I have been claiming His provision in my finances and support raising for the World Race. And I am constantly saying to the Lord, “I believe, help me in my unbelief.” I am not 100 percent sure that He will provide so that I can go on the World Race, but I am taking steps of faith and leaving the results up to Him. It is a scary thing to be putting so much effort in to something and not knowing if it will pay off. That’s where I need to trust His sovereignty more.
Have you had difficulty trusting God’s sovereignty recently? What have you done to refocus and remain relient on Him those situations?
