Tomorrow I will speak to my Church for the first time about my world race. I haven’t even written what I am going to say yet.
I just want it to be real- honest-spoken from the imperfect person that I really am. So often people, including myself sometimes, think that a ‘missionary’ is someone who always has it together, who has an unbreakable relationship with God, who could quote specific verses from every Book and have never questioned Him. They do everything right, unselfishly, without vanity, with right motives.
I am not that person.
I often fall short and into the traps we have all helped shape in our world, I haven’t even read most of the first Testament and I almost flipped someone the bird the other day in traffic. I do not want to pretend that I have it all together all of the time, but I also cannot deny the fact that I love God, and more importantly He loves us all. That’s all I want to share, with you, with the world. Sometimes it can be that simple in our confusing lives. I want to understand the God that we are all serving, to call out the greatness that is already inside of me. I want to know the God we read in our Bible pages and we hear about in our Church, the one who performs miracles and makes you question over and over WHY we are all really hear. I want the truth. I want to see the truth, to live the truth, and I want to be the truth. I know what the truth sounds like by now, because it often beaks me down in hopes of building me up. Sometimes I forget if I want God to help me and help me change the world, I have to stop protecting myself from it. I have that still knowing that this is what He wants me to do- I still question, I still doubt-but I still know. It is with this knowing that I will step into the unknown and trust God.
I think I know what to say.
