This is what the Lord says:
“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls."
~ Jeremiah 6:16 ~
This will be my final update here on my World Race blog. Allow me to update you about some recent changes with me! I emailed my world race mobilizer this week to let her know that I actually would not be joining them in January. I know this may be a shock – it was for me at first too – but I believe this is right. Though there is part of me is sad about that decision and I still think it would be an amazing experience and opportunity, all of me is at complete peace with this decision.
For a little over a month I have been feeling differently about the race. No longer at peace – not doubting the decision – but definitely unsettled about it. Something was no longer sitting right in my spirit. I felt like the Lord might be doing something different but honestly, I was not hearing it! I am a committed person (and a little stubborn…ok, maybe more than "a little" haha) and I really don't like quitting! Once I make my mind up about something I fully intend to see it all the way through to completion and when I can't it is rather frustrating! Especially considering the huge decision it was to figure everything out and decide to go in the first place. I mean, there was NO way I was hearing correctly. I thought it was just one of those periods where I needed to push through.
But my mind and spirit began to feel so overwhelmed and confused and conflicted about this trip I could no longer ignore that little voice inside. So this past week I took some focused time to pray and think and seek counsel. I prayed, thought, prayed some more, wrestled a bit with this idea but no matter what it all came down to the same conclusion: God has been indeed, trying to speak to me about a different road.
Honestly, I think it was easier for me to abandon my entire life and say "yes" to going than it was for me to decide to stay. I was afraid of letting go of the plan He had – as if there is only one way God would choose to bring about a new level of His presence in my life. The road here being paved for me at home is a wonderful one – but I was worried about deviating from this decision I made. What about the people I was going to love on? What about the places I was going to see? The things I would get to do? This is a once in a lifetime experience!
And then I realized I was back, once again, deciding how much do I trust this Father of mine? Does He know my desires? Yes. Does He care about my desire to travel and love on people all over the world? Absolutely yes. And somehow I finally saw I was not quitting. I was not abandoning His plan. I was not disappointing Him in any way. Just as clearly as I heard the call in my heart to go out in missions, I was now hearing Him clearly say, "what about this?" He is the SAME one that put those desires in my heart and He will bring them all to pass. We are NOT going backwards or making a mistake. All my paths will intersect again…we are just making a right turn first before we make that left turn a little further ahead.
International missions is definitely in my future but just not in this particular way. God is shaping this picture a little differently. And when God begins to mold things differently, it is important for me to be flexible with His plan. God's hand is on ME – not this trip alone. And that's what this whole trip was about in the first place – 100% completely surrendering my heart, soul, and life for whatever He wanted to do and HOWEVER He wanted to do it.
So I will be remaining home. I will actively be serving in a new campus my home church is launching, and will continue to cultivate my gifts and talents and investing in my relationships here at home. And you know what? I am excited about this new path. I trust my God, my Father, my Provider, the Lover of my soul. He has some very special things in store for me.
Thank you so much, to each one of you, for all of your support and encouragement and faith in me and what the Lord is bringing out of me. I do not know how He chooses the way He does things sometimes but I know without a doubt that He is right on time with all of this, His hand is all over it, and I am just continuing to trust and walk with Him as He calls.
If you would like to remain updated on what the Lord brings my way you can visit and subscribe to me at my old blog site: http://stina-simplyjoy.blogspot.com/ It has meant to so much to me having you on this road…join me as I begin to travel this next one! I LOVE YOU ALL!
