and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe
even if you were told."
~ Habakkuk 1:5 ~
When you ASK BIG, you RECEIVE BIG! When 2013 began, I never imagined that I would be sitting here today writing to tell you that in just 9 months time I will be quitting my job, selling possessions, and embarking on a journey of a lifetime! Probably best to begin at the beginning…
When I was 8 years old, at my elementary school talent show, for the first time in my life I stood in front of people and sang. Singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" I instantly fell in love with the stage. That one moment began a collection of music lessons, dance classes, acting, singing, and performing. It also began my journey of singing in church. I actively became involved with the children's choir and then a selected group of 8 singers that traveled and sang at community outreaches, church events, etc. It was my time singing in the church, learning what it meant to "minister" to others, that helped me discover early on that this love for music was more than just a desire. It was a calling. A call to worship.
And not just called to worship through music and song,
but called to worship with my entire life.
When I was 9 years old my parents separated. It was the first time my heart had ever been broken. This led to many times of anger, confusion, hurt, and the hardening of my heart and the building up walls to protect myself from future pains. It wasn't until years later, as an adult, that I could look back and see not only how God was able to take that pain and heal it, but my eyes were also opened to see how my heart was broken two-fold. It was broken not just because of the pain of my own wounded family and for what was lost, but it was also broken for others. My sensitivity was elevated for others that knew of and experienced deep, emotional pain. It was because of this experience, and others, that led me to pursue a masters degree in counseling. I wanted to bring hope. I wanted to bring healing, restoration, power, and joy.
It was because of my early experiences of disappointment and pain,
that a deep sensitivity was instilled in me for the broken and the wounded.
When I was 15 years old I went to an Acquire the Fire conference and it was here that I first learned that I could go on a missions trip. I remember when we were asked, "Who will go?!", I stood right up! So fast it was like I was pulled up. Listening to other kids like me who were going all over the world, sharing Jesus, loving on people, something stirred in me and I just…KNEW. I knew no matter what, i would be on a plane that summer heading into the unknown. And I was. That summer, without knowing a single soul, I joined thousands of young teenagers, that were all coming together to be dispersed to different nations.
It was that very first mission trip
that birthed a love in me for every soul in this world.
From that moment on when people asked what I wanted to do with my life when I grew up, my answer was, "I want to travel the whole world, lead worship and singing, loving on every person, and save every child in the world."
I knew I was made for the broken, the wounded, the sick, the dead. I was made to heal and bring hope and love and joy to the world. I was made to be a light in very dark places. But then I grew up. Somehow in the growing up that dream got smaller and smaller until, for a time, it had completely disappeared. The last couple of years God has been changing me from the inside out. I have been challenged in my identity, beliefs, my virtue, and my dreams.
Since the start of this year, 2013, I had been challenged to not hinder my dreaming, to remember what the dream for my life used to be, and breathe life into it once again. This was difficult at first. These were things I had long let go of and these were things that were SO BIG. I had – and sometimes still don't – know how it could all be pulled together. But I was told to dream, so I blew the dust off with one huge breath, and opened them up.
"Too big for you = just right for you know Who" 🙂
So I prayed. "God, I don't know how or what You want to do with these dreams, but here they are. I believe You gave these to me which means they are YOUR dreams too. Whether You make these a reality or not, I want what YOU want more than anything else in this world. I want to be used by You in BIG, HUGE ways. I want YOU actively working in me and through me. Here I am…"
Just a couple of weeks after praying that prayer God brought to my mind, or I should really say brought back into my mind, The World Race. I first heard of this particular mission trip a few years ago when a friend of mine went on it. I followed her journey and remember thinking how amazing it would be to do that. Fast forward to today and I found myself back on the World Race site pouring over past and present blogs, videos, stories, laughing and weeping. And this was not a "pretty" weep. This was a "mascara washed away, tears streaming you have thought someone died" weep!
I was weeping, overcome with KNOWING that my life was about to change forever.
And I was ready.
Now my rational mind definitely took over more than once in this process. I have a wonderful, steady job and I LOVE the financial stability my regular paycheck gives me. I LOVE my home, my queen size memory foam pillow-top bed, I LOVE and adore my family and friends and the thought of missing out on a year of experiencing life with them definitely hurts my heart.
I LOVE and DESIRE my God and His dreams for my life way, way, more.
And I know, without any doubt, that He IS CALLING me to go on this race with Him. He has confirmed over and over through loved ones and even strangers. This IS the next step in my life and I am taking it in a big, giant leap.
I choose to leave my entire life behind.
I choose to GO and BE LOVE in action to the world.
And for those things I am not ready for,
I believe my God is BIG enough to carry me through it!
If I have stirred your heart with my story in some small way,
please I ask you to do several things:
SUBSCRIBE to my blog
and as you follow me, pray me for me throughout my journey.
Please feel free to leave comments, encouraging words, prayers, verses, etc on my posts
as I will read every single one and I promise it will probably be most helpful to me as I prepare and travel.
You can also find me & follow me on these other social media sites:
Twitter: @ChristinaJoyM
Instagram: StinaJoy
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/stinajoy83
(For Facebook make sure to click "Follow" to receive all my public posts)
2.
Please, please pray about SUPPORTING ME financially.
The amount of my expenses that I need to raise to live in the mission field from Jan-Nov 2014. is $15,500. There are also other expenses (several plane tickets, immunizations, etc)
that are beyond the quoted price to be paid to The World Race.
3.
Please SHARE my story with those you know.
I am praying that my journey will inspire others and that God will use it to ignite the dreams in their life.
If you know of someone who might like to hear about what I am doing, pass me along!
He is good and His promises are true…
forever and always.
By the way, here are the countries where I will be living!
