I have never had warts, yet I probably should have, given the fact that I’m such a worry wart.
This past week in Bulgaria has taught me just how much I worry.
I’ve known my friend Worry for many years. I’m not sure when we first became acquainted, but I remember him being at my side when 8 year old me thought I was having heart attacks (turns out after medical testing, it was merely heartburn/indigestion). I remember Worry being at my side soon after the time I played with a stray cat as a kid in Venezuela when my mom taught me about rabies (I was sure I’d wake up dead after having touched the fuzzy little creature). Worry graced me with his presence upon returning to Canada when I decided to “closet” or put away my musical abilities for fear of not measuring up to North American musical standards.
As of recent, worry added weight to my World Race pack as I prepared for the unknown. Worry showed up when we arrived in Lovech without long term housing plans. Worry remained in my back pocket as I woke up feeling not so hot one morning, and a teammate spouted off the symptoms of the Bulgarian Summer Flu (I was sure I had a case of it).
This past week in Bulgaria has taught me just how much I don’t need to worry.
Which to my rational mind this seems illogical. We are a team of 6 girls in a Northern town of Bulgaria where we don’t speak the language. A couple of days ago we had no connection with any local ministries and were struggling to realize where to go. Of course I was worried – we were in a pinch and all of our efforts were leading nowhere.
One afternoon after our team was spent and unsure of what was to come, we spent some time praying individually asking the Lord where he was leading us. I hiked up the mountain overlooking Lovech, and prayed for direction and guidance. While I was praying, I noticed all these Bulgarian birds flying around and I was reminded of what Matthew 6:25-26 says about worry.
“Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink…Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Later on in verse 34 Jesus says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
I’ve been familiar with this verse my whole life; I’ve sung children’s songs about it, and I have memorized it as a child. Yet it never sunk in like it did in that moment overlooking the city and realizing that my worries were not going to solve the predicament we were in. I needed to let go of my worries and place my trust in Jesus to carry us through the uncertainties.
I’ve said goodbye to my friend Worry this week in moments like waking up yesterday leaving one hostel and not knowing where we would end up for the night. The peace that I experienced yesterday as we searched for housing was one that was not my own. God provided and we have housing for the next several days.
I threw Worry out the window when a local church was looking for a piano player for their service on Sunday, and somehow I am now capable of playing Bulgarian worship songs, and will be joining them on Sunday.
Maybe you have had worry in your life or bouts of worry in different seasons, you may have even had warts from worrying. I’ve been there, and I am there, working daily to surrender my worry in exchange for seeking the kingdom of God. God is a good provider and I have seen his faithfulness time and time again in letting go of my worries and allowing him to work in my life and in the circumstances we as a team are facing on the daily.
I have found comfort in the words of Paul to the church at Philippi “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19
‘til next time!
