I wonder about everything. I wonder how He will provide for me. I wonder who He will bring as my future husband and how. I wonder if I'm worthy enough for all the things He will bring to me. Sometimes I just wonder if He will do it. Usually if I ponder these thoughts outloud I'm lucky enough to have one of my squadmates jokingly smack me and remind me of just how worthy I am and how much our Dad loves and cares for us.
Of course He provides. Of course He will bring me a husband. Of course He wants me to finish the Race strong. Of course He wants to give me everything I want.
There's a line in a song that I love dearly that says
"I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven"
It is hard not to want to control every aspect of my life. It is deeply and even more difficult to not have any control and to just leave it at the alter for Him to take care of…. especially when you see things crumbling around you that you thought you had control of.
But if I could share just one thing I have learned out here it is that I have learned that when you let God take care of things, it turns out way better than you could have ever imagined. Sure, things still don't go as I thought they would, I still get annoyed, but I'm better. I am better because of God. I am better because even though it is hard, I lean on Him. Why not? He is after all the owner of all the cattle.
It sounds easy to just let God take care of things, and it is. It is the letting go part that trips you up. But once you get past that, you'll be okay. God is concerned with everything you did. He loves you. Infact, He is concerned about the smoothie I just ordered. It's not just ANY smoothie, it's a mango smoothie. I really wanted the Orange Julius one but they were out so they brought me a mango one. Mango was FOR SURE the better choice. That sounds ridiculous you say? Surely it is not. God wants me to be happy in all things I do, even if it is my mango smoothie.
I'm blissfully happy to report that after all of my worries, concerns, and doubts I am now funded for this deadline. God loves doing this to me. He loves having me wait until the last minute before he sells some cattle for me and puts the money where He sees fit. And here I am, sitting on a lovely plush sofa enjoying my celebratory mango smoothie. My dad wants me to be happy. He loves that I am happy.
And to think… all it took was some letting go, prayers, and some cattle.
Go run to your Dad. I bet what ever plans you were worried about will turn out better if you put them in God's hands!
