Who Run the WORLD………….girls???

While I love Queen B and I’ll admit I have definitely blasted this song once or twice with my girls to feel empowered…I can’t help but think she got it all wrong!  Because in my 21 years of being a girl in
this world, I can’t help but feel, “Who Runs Girls…The WORLD!”  

 

From the moment the doctor announces, “It’s a girl!”…the world steps in, wraps us in a pink blanket, slaps a bow on our head, and our future is determined from that moment on.  From happily ever afters to the princess finding her prince, we are set up for heartbreak and disappointment from the start.  Go to school, get a job, meet the “perfect guy”, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after.  My future plans summed up in a single sentence.  Sound familiar?  No room in there to find your passion, to change the world, to discover what makes you unique, to fall in love with yourself, to travel, to make improvements, to challenge yourself, to grow, to create, or to inspire! 

 

God has been breaking my heart lately and opening up my eyes to the lies that we as women have been fed our entire lives.  And frankly I am sick of it!   If I hear one more girl complain about being single, I may scream!   It breaks my heart to see girls my age so consumed with finding someone to complete them.  To dedicate so much time and energy to finding, meeting, and attracting the “perfect guy.”  Why can’t they see how beautiful, gifted, and talented they are?  Why can’t they realize that no guy or nothing in this world is going to complete them?  Why can’t they understand that they

were created for so much more than to spend their lives waiting for their prince charming to rescue them?  And why can’t they see that their true prince charming rescued them before they were even born…so what exactly are they “waiting” for??

I see girls (and guys) jump from relationship to relationship.  Constantly searching for the next person who could potentially be the one.  I see girls give their whole hearts away (and give it away quickly), to have it broken, then turn around and give what’s left (almost always the broken pieces) to someone else.  And the cycle repeats itself, till we settle on the one, get married and then question why our spouse can’t handle all our brokenness, why they can’t fill that empty hole, and why we aren’t living happily ever after like they promised.  But not once in the process do we ever question…should I take time to become whole, should I look to God to fill that hole, should I stop blaming my ex and look at the mistakes I’ve made, evaluate the areas in my life that need God’s refinement? Should I actually or could I actually dare to take a break from dating in order to make improvements on myself? 

 
Well….I have decided to take that dare…and God has been rocking my world ever since. 

See not too long ago, I was that girl, that girl who was looking for her prince to complete her, that girl who gave her heart away.  I was that girl who thought her biggest dream in life was to get married to her high school sweetheart.  I gave my whole heart away and had it broken and like every other girl my age, I thought it was the end of my world! 

But my true prince charming, the one who I have thankfully found to be the only one who could ever complete me, stepped in at the right time and rescued me from that girl.  And its been me and Him ever since!  And my life has been so so different ever since.  When I finally realized that I had had enough,  that I was done looking in the wrong places to fill that hole in my heart, that I was ready to evaluate the mistakes that had

led me to the person I had become, and to finally discover the person woman that I was meant to be, I knew without a doubt that I needed God.  I needed Him and Him alone to  step in and put back the pieces of my broken heart. 

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.  I knew that it would involve giving up control, forgiving those who hurt me, and letting God redefine everything in my life…and I mean EVERYTHING (from my values, to my lifestyle, to my future plans, to the guys I do and don’t date). 

I knew that it wasn’t going to be an easy or short process, that it would take months and maybe even years to finally get to where I need to be.  I knew that at times my plans would seem a lot easier.  That it would be easier to just jump into a new relationship, give my heart away again and prove to the world that I had moved on.  But I also knew that easy was not what I needed!  Because I also knew from losing my mom at a young age, that life is short and time is precious.  I knew that I didn’t want to waste another day on giving my heart away again to the wrong person or being consumed with something that was clearly not of God’s will for my life.  

 

And so I decided to try it God’s way this time.  And when He revealed to me that His way meant being completely single and when he revealed or failed to reveal for how long, I’m not gonna lie I kinda freaked!  I immediately thought back to my plan for my life (the one that could be summed up in a single sentence).  And I felt it necessary to remind God of MY timeline:

I laugh at myself now while writing this but the most ridiculous

thing of all was that I did not realize how ridiculous I was!  This is how the world had taught me to think for my entire life, this was my normal and not just my normal, this is every other American girl’s normal.  Which breaks my heart!  God created each one of us so unique and beautiful.  He spent so much time creating our gifts and mapping out the amazing plans for our lives…all to have us all want and dream of the exact same cookie cutter life, a life that can be summed up in a single sentence! 

 

I started this dare, willing to work on myself, realizing that I was far from the person I needed to be, in hopes that one day I would be ready for the gift of love and marriage( that I knew surely God wanted to give me one day).  I looked at it as taking the time to work on myself so that I could be that whole and perfect woman for my future husband.  I knew that love and marriage was truly a gift from God but it’s a gift that my heart wasn’t ready for. 

And while all that is true and I do believe marriage and kids is awesome, God recently sat down with me and had me really ask myself,

And honestly… it’s really not.  And when I really stopped and thought about it, I realized, it’s not even on my top list of the dreams I have for myself!  God has finally helped me realize that he created me for much bigger things in life, than to be someone’s girlfriend, wife or mother.  While those can be amazing things and I do believe one day I will be those things, for now God has much bigger plans in store for me.  Plans that can’t even begin to be summed up in a single sentence.  I want to make a difference in this world, I want to inspire, to create, to love myself and love others, to carry out my passions, to see the world, and above all I want to walk in His calling for my life. 

          

So now I ask you, my beautiful sisters, “What is your biggest dream, what do you truly want more than anything, what makes you feel alive”…and  “Are you putting God in a box”… or “Have you put yourself in a box, by letting the world define how your life is suppose to be?"
 

I challenge all the women of this world to rise up and strive for more in this life than finding “the perfect guy.”  I challenge us to use our talents, beauty, and energy for more than just 

waiting around for a man to save us.  And perhaps I even challenge you to take that dare with me.  If you have become “that girl” the girl who has never truly taken the time to be on her own, then maybe I dare you to take a break and finally rely on your true prince charming (the only one who will ever make you complete). 

 

It’s not easy…and it has been the scariest thing I have ever done!  But when I stop and think about what my life could have been like, had I done it the world’s way, had my life ended up amounting to that single sentence, there is nothing that scares me more! 

So I get the question…when will I date again?  And honestly, I don’t really know…and honestly, I don’t really care.  I’m not waiting for anything or anyone.  He will let me know when I’m ready. 

  Life…my life is happening NOW.  God’s amazing plans for my life are happening NOW.  Everywhere I turn God has been opening up my eyes to new things in this world that break his heart.  Things that call me not to be married or single, but things that call me to simply say, “Yes” to whatever it is He is calling me to. 

 

This blog is dedicated to all the fearless women in my life who have taught me so much about life and living it to the fullest.  Happy International Women's Day!  You girls gave me the love,courage, and support I needed to get up when the world knocked me down!  You have helped me to come back even stronger and fight for the women who feel they don't have a voice.  And above all, this blog is dedicated to the strongest woman I know, my mom Grace!  I love you with all of my heart and will never give up your fight!