For as long as I can remember, I have always hated goodbyes. Short goodbyes, long goodbyes, goodbyes that were permanent or goodbyes that were uncertain, goodbyes that were happy or goodbyes that were sad. In every goodbye I have always felt like a little piece of my heart was now missing.
And it seemed as if every goodbye stood in the way of me fully embracing change and the progression forward.
So now that I am on a plane to begin this new adventure…the goodbye that I had been dreading for so long is inevitable. And so begins the first lesson God has for me…embracing the bittersweet.
“Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the calluses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, earthy.”
-Shauna Niequist
Bittersweet is everything that this journey for me has entailed. For almost a year I knew with every fiber in my being that the world race was where God wanted me. And it truly was the first time in my life where God's will and my will for my life lined up…which brings about more joy and peace than one could ever imagine.
But as September crept in, so did the fear. What had i gotten myself into? 11 months is a really long time, how had i never considered that! And my wonderful family and friends, how could I leave them? I remember at one point I had almost wished that I didn't have so many people that I loved and cared about, so that leaving for this journey would be easier. But that's what makes this bittersweet. I am beyond blessed to have the life that i do back at home, so it was almost hard to accept that God could bless me even more. But God is going to bless me even more…more than I could ever imagine. But I had to leave, I had to progress forward, let go, and embrace the bittersweet in order for Him to do that. Leaving was hard but staying would have been even harder.
Sometimes we get so comfortable in life, so afraid of the bitter in the bittersweet, that we stay where we are in fear that it can't get any better than it is now. But the truth is, when you live a life with Jesus, when you let Him become the dictator of your paths, there is ALWAYS something better ahead. In the bitter and the sweet, God does all things for the good of those who love Him. So take chances, don't be afraid to move because things are good how they are. Jesus didn't die on the cross for us to live a good life, He died so that we could have an amazing one!
