I’m not afraid to drown. In fact, I want to drown. The only way that I can fully live is if I drown first. I don’t mean drown in any body of water. I mean a river. A river that is more powerful than any other river on Earth. A river that can’t be seen, it can only be felt. I’m talking about God’s river. His river of love. I want to drown in the living water. I want to be filled with his love. Because drowning in this river of love means that I will finally be living for real. No one can really live without drowning.
This river is scary. It is powerful. It is mighty. And it is awesome. I found myself on a winding road. I wasn’t in the river. I wasn’t even in the woods surrounding the river (because I always picture a river that is running through the forest). I was on the road that is beside the forest that contains the river. I could hear the rush of the water through the trees, but I always found an excuse to keep walking safely on the road. “I’ll just keep walking on this paved road until I find a safer path through the woods to a calm spot in the river.” Who wants to walk through a dark forest alone into the rapids of a raging river?? Not me. Uh uh no way. That’s scary.
So I kept walking down the road. Until training camp. It was there that I realized how far away that river was and how much I wanted to jump in it. So I veered off the road I had been walking on and plunged into the forest. Once in the forest, with the river getting closer and closer, I realized that the forest is not dark. God was shining his light and lighting a path for me to follow to his river. I wasn’t alone either. I was surrounded by hundreds of people that were also on the path to that river. Some people had even already jumped in and were shouting “Come in, the water’s fine.” So I followed. I followed God’s light and let him guide me to the perfect spot in that river where I could jump in without fear. I couldn’t see where he was leading me. I could only trust blindly that he would keep me safe from the rapids.
I spent a week drowning in that river. And it was the best week ever. Ironically, drowning made me feel like I was breathing for the first time in a long time. The river is a breath of fresh air, hope in the sea of despair, and light in the surrounding dark forest. It might be scary to step off the paved road and wander through the forest. But it is worth it. God wants all of us in his river. I don’t want to go back to the paved road.
Your love is like a river, Peaceful and deep. ‘N SYNC nailed it with that line. Who doesn’t love a little JT?? Even though God’s river is the mightiest river, it is the only peaceful place.
But the song that really sums up this river is one we sang at training camp. The band Collective Outpour (look them up they are AWESOME!) played this song while we all sang along:
Take me out the middle of the river. I wanna drown in that good ol’ river of your love.
I wanna pull people in the river.
I want to help as many people as I can over the next year find their way into the river. I want everyone to drown. Because the only way we can fully live is to drown in his river of love. My challenge to you is to take the leap of faith and step off the road. Find your way to the river. You won’t regret it. Even if you can’t swim, jump in. You’ll be fine because God is our lifeguard and he walks on water.
