I literally fell on my face this morning.
I had just read a blog of a fellow-racer who is currently serving in Thailand. She talked about the heart-breaking and hopeless sex-trafficking world that children and men live in daily. I know that this is on our agenda as racers to meet this lost world face-to-face, but man…I was not ready to read that this morning. My heart physically broke and the tears were unstoppable as I asked God “are You sure I’m ready for this?!”
It is still difficult for me to wrap my mind around and process through the complete lostness that drives the sex-trafficking industry. Even more difficult to wrap my mind around is why these children and not me? God could have just as easily delivered me to a poor farming family in Thailand instead of a middle class family in America!
Earlier this week, God gave me the word “surrender.”
Then later this week, the word “comfort.”
I am so aware that this upcoming trip will push me beyond my comfort zone, but I think I saw it as a “challenge” instead of “surrender.” After reading the blog this morning and being so broken-hearted before God, a hopelessness crept into my mind… How can I fix this? How can I do anything to make even the smallest difference? It will be like me spitting at the Great Wall of China, and expecting it to fall.
“Surrender” God whispered.
