Another month is about to come to a close. Wednesday morning we will catch an early morning flight and be on our way back to Manila. I can honestly say that this month has gone by the fastest of the three, even though we have spent more time here than we have in any of the previous locations. So now that we are about to head into debrief, my mind is shifting gears and I’m beginning to look at the month as a whole, figuring out some things and seeing some of the ways that God has worked in the past 4 weeks.
I also know that due to certain circumstances coming into this month, I know the big question that I will be asked most often: Are you glad you went to Dumaguete instead of staying in Manila?
I kind of hate this question. Okay, maybe not hate… that’s a pretty strong word, but I almost feel painted into a corner when I answer it, like people are waiting for me to say yes, you were right and I was wrong. Well, I don’t know quite how to explain my thoughts on this topic, but I’m going to give it a shot.
I enjoyed this month. I didn’t always enjoy the ministry we were doing. I didn’t like that all my ministry was chosen for me, instead of being able to go where I felt God was calling me. I enjoyed our lodging and the ability to develop relationship with Lolo Llyod and Lola Sherry–they were amazing! I loved the few times I was able to 
help out at the orphanage in town. I had a hard time living with nine other people. It was stretching to do door to door evangelism. The ICM staff we worked with were hilarious and fun to be around. I wish I could have developed better relationships with the local people… among some other thoughts.
If this is where God wanted me to be–then I don’t regret being here, not in the slightest. Do I understand it yet? Not at all. Is it still hard for me to think about Manila, absolutely. There were many times this past month where I would read about Team 
Less and the things they were doing, and sadness would just envelope me. I tried as hard as I could to get the thought out of my head, but even to this day, I still look back and think that I might have missed out on the best month possible for this year. I still don’t feel like this location was a better fit for me than Manila. But as my good friend Robin says, all for his Glory.
I accepted this early on, even as we were first arriving in Dumaguete, I knew that even though it was going to be hard, that I had to embrace the ministry that I was given for the month. I didn’t want to have a negative attitude that would affect God being able to work through me. And like I said, it wasn’t easy, especially the first week. But God likes to use times like this to develop character in us… and that’s exactly what he did this month. 
There are two areas that God has been speaking to me about over the course of the past week: discipline and serving. Now I wish I could say that God has been speaking to me about it over the whole month and that over the course of that time, I have grown tremendously and have achieved perfection. Hah… but that’s not even close to the truth. The reason I have come to recognize these two areas is because I have been lacking in each of them.
Discipline. This month, we have had more comforts than we have in any of the other places. We are living in a home. We have a kitchen. We walk down the street to drop off our laundry. We walk the other direction to go to Mercury Drugs, for our daily fill of chocolate and pop. We have electricity and movies to watch. We have computers. And the most deadly of all, we have wi fi where we are staying. Morning and night–with the exception of a brownout or two, we can always access our email, the world race blogs, myspace, facebook, i tunes, etc. A who
le bunch of comforts. And another word for comforts is distractions. It takes a whole lot of discipline when I wake up each morning to check in with God before I check my email. At night it’s a whole lot easier to watch a movie than to read the Word. And over the course of this month, I found myself caring less about my time with God and more about my time with these other things. I began to notice it in my attitude, in my character, in the way I approached things, in my thoughts… I was drifting from God. And it all came back to how I was spending my time. I was choosing things over God.
Serving. This is another area where I have noticed that I need some work. Back at home, I was usually identified as a person who likes to sacrifice. Acts of service is my love language, and I love to serve those around me. Yet for some reason, I haven’t been this person for the past three months. I find it a lot harder to sacrifice, to give of 
my time and to give of my things. And this month I realized it… I’m selfish. When did I become this way? I’m not quite sure, but I don’t like it.
So over the past couple of weeks, God has led me to recognizing these things, and now He is leading me in changing them. It is something that is a daily choice. Each morning I wake up and I have to choose to be disciplined. I have to choose to not pick up that computer until I spend time with God. I have to choose to give up my time to help someone else. I have to choose to share my last cookie. I have to choose to follow God’s prompting and to not walk in my selfish ways.
And although I may be leaving Dumaguete in two days, these choices will follow me to Manila, to China, to Africa, all the way to Central America, and then wherever I end up after the race. We must daily deny ourselves, pick up our cross and choose to follow God.
