Hello from the other side of the world!
I have arrived in INDIA!
I arrived in India with dreams of saree’s, and crazy culture shock, and everything extreme. I was ready to be uncomfortable in every way, and return home with wild stories. These dreams were killed when we arrived at our compound in Manipur, India (Northeast India). We have TOILETS , the clothes people wear are pretty normal to us, the culture isn’t crazy different, the food isn’t spicy, and to say it simply, I am pretty comfortable…
We had hours of travel and as we arrived here, I thought that jet lag didn’t effect me.
I was wrong.
Going to a 10 hour time difference definitely effected me. I told everyone I would wait till least 9pm to go to bed. I went to bed at 6:30pm and woke up at 1am.
It was 1am and my lack of things to keep me occupied paired with my disappointment resulted in me planning away my future in attempt to fix the mistake I thought God had made. I started planning a trip to real India. I realized that if I was a teacher I could take summers to travel and help schools around the world, or I could help in orphanages. I could go all over the world!
Then I started stressing about what if I had a family, how would I travel? Would my parents watch my kids?
As question after question filled my head with fear and uncertainty, I got even more worried thinking about what if I don’t accomplish the dreams I have. I started working so hard in my mind as to how I would make these ideas happen.
My world was shaking because what if he didn’t allow me to accomplish the plans I was making. What if my plans and dreams weren’t the dreams he had for me? The verse “I know the plans I have for you” began to scare me rather than reassure me, because I realized that maybe I didn’t want His plans for me. I started to doubt weather he has good plans for me.
I felt God tell me to read Ezekiel 27. I’ve never read Ezekiel and I don’t know what it’s about at all. I still don’t really because I skimmed it at 3am, but basically it was something about all these beautiful things on a ship and in the end the ship sinks.
In that moment, I knew that I was building a boat and I was carefully placing my treasures upon it; I put my accomplishments, reputation, people, clothes, ect… I was constructing this boat that in any moment could come sinking down.
—I need to rely on God, he is my rock. Am I okay to sit just with him, only us, on the rock. No accomplishments, nothing of this world, none of my plans, just Him. Will just God and his presence be enough for me?—
He wants me to go out and be active and serve and do the things I love, but I need him to be my rock. I was planning to go out and do all these amazing trips and great plans, but before I do anything, my feet need to be firmly placed my the rock that is my God.
I was ready to suffer for two months in India so that I could go home to my comfortable house and tell stories.
I wanted to help people, I wanted to see a world with a crazy different culture, I wanted to be uncomfortable, I wanted to be challenged. These are good desires, but just because we have good desires doesn’t mean God will give them to us every time. I think God likes to surprise us. We like to put him in this bottle, like he’s a gene there to grant our wishes, but He is so much greater than that.
I don’t know why God put me here, and I might never know. I trust that he is working when I can’t see it being done. And that’s hard to say, because I like seeing the effects. But God tells us to walk by faith, not by sight.
—Are you building your life in a creaky boat that will one day sink? Has God disappointed you? Are you ashamed to go to him because he has disappointed you?
—Are you resting on the rock, willing to go wherever God sends you? Do you trust God enough that even when your disappointed, you can get back up and keep following?
People always say that if God is not giving you your plans he’s giving you something better. The thing with that is, I have plans that I love and His don’t always seem better. He might take me somewhere that I would rather not go, somewhere where I think my plans were better.
Jonah was asked to go somewhere he didn’t want to go. He resisted, but finally, he obeyed. When he did, God used him in amazing ways. I bet Jonah thought he had much better plans than God when He called him to Nineveh. But after he obeyed and went, I think he saw that God did have great plans for him.
Our concern should be with glorifying God, not gaining the things of this world. God may call us to places of despair, poverty, loneliness… Not to lose us, but to teach us about himself, to teach us to follow his light because nothing in this world is like it, to teach us and others watching that with God, we can walk through the darkest days.
—When we go on our own strength, we are only able to accomplish as much as we are able. But when we go with God, where He sends, we are able to do as much as He can do. —
Don’t let your plans to serve God and have a good life get in the way of your relationship with God. Don’t let them get in the way of trusting God, trusting that he sees the whole picture, trusting that he has a plan for you wherever he has you.
Time and time again God has proven to be faithful and true. He has walked me though, fear, loneliness, insecurity, and through everything, he has placed me just where I needed to go. Sometimes it wasn’t a nice, beautiful path, but overall is made me who I am. I get stuck thinking he is too busy in other aspects of the world, but he is God. He is bigger than I can conceive of in my mind, yet still he cares for me, has a plan for me, and is patient with me when I think I know better.
I don’t know you, whoever is reading this, but from everything I’ve experienced and known, He is a trustworthy God.
Life Update: In just a few days, I will see my PARENTS!!!!! My amazing parents are flying all the way to India to see me for about a week!!! I am SO EXCITED!!! Keep them in your prayers!
Last week we served at a medical clinic that served over 3000 people!
