Last week, (Sep 18-19) our ministry host was so sweet to us, and took my whole squad to Greece!! We had an amazing time staying in Thessaloniki for two days.
After driving 13 or more hours through the night, we arrived in Greece just in time to watch the sunrise. After we got to our hotel, I could hardly wait to walk out and see the Sea. We finally got to the beach and I was immediately in awe of the completely clear water.
As I floated peacefully through the salty Mediterranean, a thought popped into my head that could not be reversed. In such a large expanse of water, I realized that there may be a shark lingering right below me. All I could hear was the sound of my breathing, getting faster and faster as I thought about sharks. My head was filled with the shark song, from when a shark appears in a movie. In a sea so big and unknown, and my ability to swim away so meek and impossible, the thought of sharks near me freaked me out.
Since I was in the Mediterranean, I sucked it up and told myself it was fine and did it anyway. I did not float cause it freaked me out, and I swam very close to a friend, but I did it.
This event was a reminder to me that in life, we shouldn’t not do something because it may go wrong. Sometimes we need to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Everyday we face situations that scare us and make us want to turn and run. Although that is not always the wrong decision, often in my life, I fear the possibility of something going wrong. The truth is sometimes the times where things go wrong are when we grow the most. God uses the uncomfortable or even painful times.
Although I could have been eaten by a shark, if I had let my fear of something going wrong control me, I would not have had the great experience I had. (And the chances of me getting eaten were not high, maybe even impossible)
When I was younger, I had so much fear inside of me. I would have nightmares and go sleep in my parents room until I was almost 8. I thought that someone was going to harm me or my family. As I have grown, I have overcome those fears of the unknown in many ways. Now I am sleeping in random places all around the world. God has given me the boldness to go to a place completely unknown and I have had little fear of what is to come.
I have recently realized that although I have not let fear of unknown events get to me, Satan knowns my weakness and has come at it in another way. As I have come on this race, my fear of man has been a constant battle. I thought that because it was all christians on the race it would not be a problem. But in the midst of 40 people, I have felt unknown and afraid. One of the hardest parts of Satan is the lies he tells us seem to be disguised in truth. They are not boldface lies, they are crafty, and cause you to question the goodness and truth of God. Satan doesn’t just say, “everyone hates you.” He wears down on you by pointing out things wrong with you. He makes you question every look and whisper.
During a reflection time, one of the questions asked was “Where do you find safety? Does it bring you closer to God?” To my surprise, I realized I sometimes feel safe in lies Satan has told me. I feel safe in the thought that no one likes me, because I have lived there for so long it is familiar. Breaking out of that to rest in the truth of God is hard. It is a process, but it is one I am apart of. Praise God, that he is apart of our brokenness and makes us strong.
To be clear, I absolutely love the people I am traveling with. They are funny, kind, generous, encouraging, and so much more. I have been blessed repeatedly with amazing times with them and cannot wait to get to know them better. They are amazing and beautiful people.
Even in the midst of Satan’s schemes, God reigns victorious.
This weekend I had another encounter with a situation that pushed me. We had church this week and the pastor asked that one of my 7 teammates give a testimony. I knew (or I thought I knew) that someone else would volunteer and I could watch them and then later on in the race give a testimony when I was ready.
Wow, God knows how stubborn I can be. Apparently he wanted me to speak, because he told everyone else, “no, not yet.” So during my first time in a Romanian church, I spoke! I don’t know if what I said was good or bad, but I trust that if God wanted me to speak, he will use what I said.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. Face the sharks.
In Luke 22:42, Jesus says, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” Jesus speaks this prayer right before he is arrested and crucified. He asks that God remove this task from Him, but in the end he will do the Father’s will.
I don’t know if Jesus felt fear, but he definitely did what he needed to do despite not wanting to do it.
What areas is fear controlling you? What are the “sharks” you need to face?
God, thank you that you are stronger than anything we could ever fear. Help us to be strong and courageous and do the work.
Below is a photo of the sunrise in Greece
