Valentine’s day morning I woke up to breakfast prepared by the guys on the squad. It was met by tears and thank you’s by most of the women, but I sat there with a sick feeling in my stomach. I was sitting with a rose and breakfast and a note, all prepared for me by the guys on my squad, and I felt like leaving. In a moment that should have felt so sweet and thoughtful, I felt sick.
All I could think about were the guys in my past who had liked me, been kind to me, done all the right things, yet still I couldn’t give them the love they wanted. I was reminded of the times I loved men in my life, and it only ended up hurting them. Times when I truly loved guys, but since it was only love as a friend or a sister, it wasn’t enough.
My love was never enough. My love only hurt people.
The hardest thing is when you do all the right things, you love someone so well, and they still don’t love you like you wanted to be loved. We live in constant fear of letting people know we love them because what if they don’t love us back.
Sometimes you will do all the right things, and won’t receive what you hoped to get. Sometimes you sacrifice everything, and that still isn’t enough for someone.
This day after Valentines day, here is a note to those who loved without fear, who put their heart on the line.
I hate it when you hold the door
I hate it when you smile at me
I hate it when your friends all stare
I hate it when you care
I hate it when you make me laugh
I hate it when you laugh at me
I hate the way your family loves me
I hate the way they look at me
I hate it when you always showed up
I hate it when you’re there
But the truth is:
I loved it when you held the door, you were always such a gentleman
I loved it when you smiled at me, I knew I always had your support
I loved it when your friends all stared, I’m proud to be your friend
I loved it when you listened to my stories and could never get enough
I loved it when you made me laugh till I can hardly breathe
I loved it when you laugh at me, there’s a lot to laugh about
I loved the way your family loves, I’ve always felt so at home
I loved the way they look at me, it’s like a mothers love
I loved the way I could always count on you
I loved it when you were there
The truth is, I never hated those things, until I felt your pain. I never wanted to lose you, but you’re slipping through the drain. Life is taking us to different worlds, with different people and different names. But I’ll always remember yours.
I’m sorry I hurt you, it hurt me too
I’m sorry I didn’t stay
I’m sorry my love wasn’t enough.
Don’t stop loving like you do. One day, your going to find someone.
She is going to love all the things that I did, but she’ll love them even more.
Don’t let your heart grow hard or your love be bitter.
Your love is valiant and strong, it is brave and wise.
Your love is sacrificing and selfless.
I’d rather have loved someone well than to love none at all.
Thank you for being an example to the rest of the world of loving someone well.
—Let your love be strong and brave and wise. Let you heart be strong and courageous in how you live your life.—
My love never hurt God, his love never hurt me. I will walk his path for me and follow his mighty lead. In a world full of heartache I’ve finally found the healer, who can take every part of us, he is a redeemer. He will take every broken piece, and make it into something more beautiful than before.
There is love, because he first loved us.
We love others as a reflection of his love for us.
Don’t stop loving people because one of them might hurt you.
“Fear doesn’t stop bad things from happening, it stops you from enjoying the good.” -(unknown)
Thank you, Jesus, that my love is enough for you. Thank you that you take up every broken piece and make it something whole. Thank you that in you we are filled, whole, and made worthy, by your blood. Thank you for sacrificial love, for loyalty, for kindness. Thank you for the people who have loved without fear. Help my love to look like yours.
