It is month two and I am in Titanyen, Haiti. We have been here for about two weeks and it is all squad month. That means all 6 teams, which consists of 38 squad mates in total, are all together with one ministry. Our ministry host is Mission of Hope, which is a multi campus, kingdom driven, powerhouse focused on indigenous empowerment and sustainable growth on all levels. We are so pumped not only to all be together for the first time on the field but also to be working alongside such an amazing organization.
This month God has been stripping away more junk, more pride, more insecurity, more comfort, and just a whole lot more. Last month was incredible but it was our first month on the race and we were so busy that most of my focus was on my team and on staying afloat. This month I am starting to realize the race is actually my life, and real life. I have a little more down time to process in the evenings, and this month has already begun to take on an introspective theme.
Titanyen, the city we are living in, means “less than nothing” in French. At first glance aspects of this city can look like less than nothing; it is a dry, deforested, Yuma, AZ style desert. However, at the same time there is sharp, contrasting beauty all around, in the mountains to the north, and the ocean to the south, in the random patches of rich green banana farms, the bustling streets, and the beautiful people. On a spiritual level there are dark and obvious levels of depression, poverty, and voodoo; yet once again contrasted by the palpable presence of the Holy Spirit, the light that is Mission of Hope, and the obvious restoration of a broken nation.
In my life there have been times where I have felt like less than nothing. Whether that feeling was brought on by guilt or shame, insecurity, lack of identity, or confusion, I can identify times in my life where I or someone around me has labeled a part of who I am as less than nothing. It has been a wild ride finding a strength, stability, and confidence in what my heavenly father calls me. He calls me son, warrior, creator, chosen, and so much more.
Even in knowing faithfully and without doubt who I am in Christ, there are still moments where certain experiences and situations can tempt me to feel like less than nothing. Sometimes our efforts in ministry feel as though they are amounting to nothing, that our impact and influence on those around us are less than what we had dreamed, or that our talents and ability are less than what’s necessary. It is a daily decision to decide the opposite of lack, to choose into a “more than” mentality, and to believe the truths that our father speaks over us. The most beautiful part of this month so far has been seeing God contrast my frustrations, doubts, and questions with sheer wonder, reawakened creativity, and his ever-present whisper in my ear.
What areas are you feeling like less than nothing?
Are you willing to let God contrast those areas that have been labeled as less than by the world with the truths that are more than? Titanyen has been forever labeled and named “less than nothing” by man, yet God and his people are daily redefining it with an over flow of love, truth, and a more than mentality even amidst the brokenness.
