OK let’s start somewhere. Where should we start? Music? That’s what I was thinking. I won’t go nuts talking about music here because this just isn’t the blog for it. On my WR blog you will only get tastes, snippets, bits, and maybe even some pieces.
SNIPPET: I’m currently listening to a marvelously chill CD by a guy named James Blake (or so he calls himself).
Here’s what this CD does to me:
It’s a deliberately chill collection of songs. Nothing intense or overtly exciting when it comes to the beat or the volume of certain instruments as compared to others. However, when I turn the volume up to 35 (I like how relative that statement is), I find myself dancing like a crazy man. (generally using mostly head and arm movements) It’s weird. I think I dance crazier to some of this music than I dance to music that was originally made for dancing. There’s just something about the hushed energy of these songs that takes my world to new geological heights (“rocks my world”…please keep up). I just suggest you give it a try. You might hate it…you might not. Try this song first:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOT2-OTebx0
Guys, I have been forced to put myself on a strictly cash policy. Who would have thought that a man who spends his workdays at a CPA firm making sure that companies out there are reporting their $$$$ correctly would struggle with personal financial budgeting? It’s almost sad…and by “almost”, I mean “obviously”.
Really though, I think what it comes down to is that I’m feeling the invitation to sacrifice some more for this trip. Since I decided to turn my WR engines on and sign up for this trip, I’ve been trying to cut back on the frivolous spending that had become a part of my lifestyle. I mean I don’t feel like I was irresponsible in my spending…but through my parents God kind of showed me that a big part of His provision for this trip is going to be the money that He’s enabled me to make at my job. Thus, I felt like it was important that I cut back on some of the more frivolous areas of my spending so that I could have more money to put towards this trip.
Lately though, I feel like God’s kind of been asking me to kick it up a notch. And I mean I totally see what He’s saying too because if we (myself) don’t start saving more than I have been, we (just myself again) are going to find ourselves (you get it) coming up a little on the short side when we hit September.
SO, I won’t go into the specifics of how much I have discerned is a good amount for me to give myself so that I can actually live, but I’m going to do my best to cut my spending back to a level that is no longer comfortable for me. I think I have always found comfort in being the guy who doesn’t have to make too many decisions based on whether I have the money or not. But that’s about to have to stop. At least for a season.
SO, in order to get myself to actually cut myself back to this unspecified level of spending, I’m going to a cash system. I’ve always said I would never do it because it just isn’t necessary. However, as much as I hate to admit it, I won’t be able to do this if I continue using the old credit cards. I just spend money much more quickly with a card.
Now is time to talk about what has made me want to step up my saving game. Let’s let Jesus get in on the action here. I heard this story about Jesus from a really amazing Christian leader named Matthew the Disciple. He said that there was this one time that he was with Jesus and this rich young man came up to Jesus and asked Him what he needed to do in order to be “complete”. Jesus told the man that he needed to go and sell everything he had and give it to the poor.
I think I’ve read this before and had the thought “Oh ok, so if I want to be a good follower of Jesus, I should sacrifice things.” I mean it makes sense right? We’ve got to give up things in this world so that we don’t ever value “things” more than we value Him right? That must be what He was saying…
So let’s step back. I’m looking at this trip that I’m about to go on. I know that I’m going to sacrifice a lot of comforts and pleasures for the year that I’m on this trip. I figure that my willingness to do so should communicate to Jesus that I care about following Him more than I care about those things. And I DO think that, to some extent, there is some validity to this line of thinking. I think that Jesus loves it when we sacrifice things to show Him that they are meaningless compared to Him as long as that is the motivation of our heart.
The pastor at my church this past Sunday was talking a bit about not falling into a particular way of thinking about God. He was specifically talking about how some people think of themselves as mainly the SERVANT of God and don’t as often think of themselves as the SON or DAUGHTER of God. So this is kind of the framework that I have been using as I work through the last 3 days of my life now. I’ve been trying to see the areas of my life in which I’ve limited the position of God to just MASTER or to just LOVING FATHER et cetera.
So then take that in the context of this verse that I was talking about which is actually from Matthew 19. I think that my thinking of this verse has generally been more in the context of God the Master. He demands that I sacrifice in areas of my life in order to follow Him.
I think that I’ve been missing out on the FATHER heart of God in this verse though that comes out in the words of Jesus directly after “go and sell your possessions and give to the poor”. He follows these words up with “and you will have treasure in heaven”. (Matthew 19:21)
This has blown my mind this week. I feel like God has been showing me that what He wants to say through this story is that He isn’t asking me to give up everything I have and be destitute. He’s a loving father who wants to give me invaluable gifts as an expression of His love for me. He’s simply inviting me to drop the worthless junk that I’m holding in my arms right now so that I can have free hands to accept the gifts that He wants to give me.
It’s changed my view guys. It’s changed my perception from one of “ok I’ve got to give up enough that God will be satisfied that I love Him” to, ok what of this stuff in my arms can I possibly drop so that I can take and receive more of the gifts that my loving father has for me.
SO anyways, that’s kind of where I’m at right now. I want to dump some more of my worthless junk (which in this case means the unnecessary things that I spend my money on) because I feel like God is standing there just waiting for me to have a free hand to take some of the eternal treasure He has for me.
Boom. Look at me getting all serious with stuff. What’s up with that? I feel the need to close out with something more frolicsome. Let’s do a little bit of good decision turned bad decision.
As you should know by now (cause of course you’ve read all my blog posts right?) I have spent a decent amount of the last 10 months studying for the ugliest test I’ve ever heard of (CPA exam). Well, for this most recent section that I hopefully passed on Monday, I really had a hard time getting myself to study for any length of time. I was just so intensely sick of this test that I couldn’t get myself to sit there and watch lectures for longer than like 30 minutes without completely ceasing to pay attention.
Then I found it. My solution:
These aren’t just any sunflower seeds; they’re the most delicious sunflower seeds that I can even imagine. The great thing about sunflower seeds is that they give you something to mindlessly focus on (oxymoron?). They keep you awake if you will. If you’ve ever had trouble staying awake when you’re driving late at night, try sunflower seeds. They’ll blow your mind.
Then you take these specific sunflower seed and we’re now talking about combining a strong focuser with something that tastes like heaven heaven heaven and oh my gosh. It’s good things.
So the sunflower seeds were obviously a good idea right? I mean they helped me to stay awake and get more studying done while at the same time being delectable and mouth-watering. Well, as you know from the title of the game we’re playing, this good decision quickly turned to bad decision.
The first issue with massive levels of sunflower seed consumption is that, after a while, they just make you feel like the inside of your mouth got raped by a chainsaw. It’s brutal. There’s so much salt and then at the same time, you’re tongue is having to do a lot of work to get the seeds out of the shell. Considering how my mouth felt, I can’t believe I wasn’t bleeding gallons.
The second problem though is that sunflower seeds are addictive. So you just keep tearing up your mouth day after day after day. The only way to really get yourself to stop is to actually get to the point where the pain in your mouth is strong enough that you literally can’t bear it. I hit that point this past Sunday afternoon and can I just say that my mouth is still recovering? Cause it is.
The irony is that writing this blog made me want sunflower seeds really badly so I’m now eating them…they’re Ranch flavored and they are wonderful. I’m an idiot.
Ok, I’m done about 6 paragraphs later than you wish I was. Finally over though.
Peace.
