So it is a little crazy that I am posting so many blogs
these past few days eh? I’m right
there with you. Jesus has been
super awesome recently though and I have got to share it all.
Recently, my dad sent me an email catching me up on some of
the goings on back home. When I first received it, I only had internet for a
short time. Thus, I just
downloaded the email and saved it to read later when internet time wasn’t so
valuable. I love hearing from my
parents and I was excited to read the email.
My dad is pretty good at getting to my heart. If I could somehow count the number of
times that my dad’s love has moved me to tears over the course of my life, I am
sure that number would SIGNIFICANT.
I definitely wasn’t expecting it this time though. I was just expecting an email that
would let me know some of what had been going on back at home recently.
The email began with these words: “It’s fair to say that I am missing you quite a bit these days…
Going this long without the affirmation of your embrace and pat on the back is
tough on me… I do love you so much…”
I don’t know if it makes perfect sense to you why these words made my
eyes well up with tears or whether there is something specific in my
relationship with my father that makes this response make total sense to
me. Either way though, I still
find myself easily getting emotional at the thought of my father longing for MY
embrace.
As a son, I have definitely always grown up knowing there
was little that was more important to me than my relationship with my
father. I was well aware that my
father was an incredible man and a highly abnormal father in the way that he
was able to love me and be there for me.
The embrace of my father has always been something that I have found
IMMENCE security in. Hearing from
my father though that he misses MY embrace was something I had never realized
he would feel. Sure, I knew that
he missed me and I knew that he wanted to see me. However, I never realized that the love that I communicate
to him through an embrace is something that HE actually longs for…it’s not just
me longing for his embrace.
**PHOTO BY STEPHANIE**
I definitely realized a lot about my relationship with my
dad through this email but I didn’t really even think to apply this to my
relationship with Jesus. However,
Jesus obviously had something he wanted to say to me because he decided to
communicate it a second time through a different avenue.
A couple days later, I was listening to a sermon by a man
named Graham Cooke. He mentioned
something about how Jesus loves to hear what He looks like from us, His
children. It was just a passing
comment in his sermon but it STUCK in my head and I couldn’t stop thinking
about it.
This idea that the heart of Jesus might long for my embrace
as a son just as much as I have always longed for His father embrace was
rocking my world. Frankly, it blew
my away.
I spent a lot of time for a few days just trying to process
the magnitude of the truth that Jesus was showing me. I have learned at this point to never take truth for it’s face
value when it comes from Jesus. He
ALWAYS has deeper levels of revelation to bring to truths.
The end result of spending time with Jesus on this stuff was
that He gave me a song to sing.
Haha does he know how to love me or does he know how to love me?
This is a song about how Jesus absolutely is already aware
of how amazing He is. He already
knows that nothing compares to His glory and goodness. He LONGS to hear His praises come from
the mouth of HIS SON though. He
loves to hear how powerful and mighty He is IN THE EYES of His son. He loves to hear that I am blown away by Him.
This is just a song of stepping into that role of a son
during worship. I have always
loved to worship Him and tell Him how awesome He is. However, I really only step into the part of our
relationship that looks like a father/son when I am needing a father’s
love. I have never stepped into
that reality when I am just longing to be a son loving on His father. I hope that makes sense. Essentially, I have always wanted to
receive the love of a father but haven’t ever experienced what it is like to
tell my father that I love Him.
Through my earthly father (as happens so often it seems)
Jesus showed me a little more of what He wants our relationship to look
like. My fathers long for my
love. That’s ridiculous.
I have attached a link to the song that I wrote. It’s just a crappy recording I made on
my ipod real fast but hopefully you can get the gist. I’ve put the lyrics below just in case you can’t understand
my words! Love you all so much and
thanks for reading the ridiculous amount of words that I write.
LINK TO SONG DOWNLOAD:
LYRICS:
Jesus I know that you know how beautiful you are.
Jesus I know that you know how matchless is your goodness.
Jesus I know that you know how great thou art
Jesus I know that you know how far you are beyond compare.
But hear it from the mouth of your child,
You are great.
Hear it from the lips of your son,
You are mighty.
Hear it from the top of my lungs,
Your holiness blows me away!
Your goodness blows me away!
Your beauty blows me away!
Your kindness blows me away!
I’m blown away by you Abba.
