I want to fill you in on some adventure details from this
past month that you probably already know if you have even a tiny bit of FB
stalker-ish tendencies in you.
However, I also want to fill you in on some deets (shortened version of
details. Keep up.) that you can’t possibly know unless you’re my girlfriend and
got to talk to me on the phone tonight. What up!?! (Trademark Barney Stinson:
How I Met Your Mother)
This month just started off with adventure. It was an epic first couple of days in
Uganda. Our entire squad went to a
place right on the Nile river to relax and have some fun together for a few
days before heading off ot ministry.
First afternoon that we were there, I got my first trump card of the
month. Let me explain what a trump
card is for those of you who aren’t enlightened. A trump card is a statement of something that you have done
in your life that ends a competitive conversation between yourself and one or
more other persons. When people
are comparing stories and are getting to that point where it is clear that
everyone is subtly trying to one-up the previous story, the “trump card” is the
story that puts everyone to silence.
Exempli gratia: If I were having a conversation with someone
and I stated that I had done <>,
then this proverbial “someone” might respond with: “oh yeah I remember when I
bungee jumped in Colorado; it was awesome.” Then, I might throw out the trump card (if I had it…) of:
“oh yeah, I remember when I bungee’d over the Nile river and got dipped into
it…” (spoiler alert). The general
response to such a statement would be silence…thus, TRUMPED.
So anyways, my first trump card of the month was on day one
of our squad time. Almost our
entire squad got to raft the Nile river!
The rafts hold 8 people and guess how many men we have on our
squad? Yep, exactly one raft full.
We had a raft full of men (I can’t tell you what we named
our boat…too manly) and we had a crazy raft guide. There was no “would you like it mild or wild?” It was more like: “you guys wanna get
absolutely dominated or just destroyed?”
It was crazy up in the man boat.
We had so much fun but there were legitimately times when I had so much
adrenaline going or would be getting washing-machined in the waves and I legitimately
had the thought “this is probably going to be the end.” It was crazy. I haven’t been so scared and pumped up and terrified and
excited all at the same time in a very long while. It was a blast though.
To make a long story short, I got robbed the night after we
rafted the Nile. I had a backpack
on my bed with me (under my mosquito net) while I was sleeping and somehow,
somebody came into our room in the middle of the night and stole a SIGNIFICANT amount
of money out of my backpack. We
won’t get specific but it was a 4-digit number. This dude came away a rich little thief.
Anyways, another one of the men on our squad also got some
stuff stolen. He lost his daypack
which had a very nice camera among other things in it. The management at the place we were
staying handled everything incredibly well and actually ended up having the
police investigate and FOUND the backpack with the camera and such! No cigar on the money but still. They were wonderful with everything and
they felt absolutely horrible as this kind of thing apparently doesn’t happen
often there.
Thus, the last morning that we were there, our bus was
running a bit late to pick us up.
The manager came up to Layne (the other guy) and I and told us that, if
we would like to, we could do the Nile-High Bungee for free! Now, I definitely had known that the
Nile bungee was available for the last few days but it cost about 70 US$. That coupled with the fact that I had
already had 12 times my normal adrenaline quota for the week left me with the
decision to wait til another time to have my first bungee experience.
However, when presented with the chance to bungee for free
AND the chance to make an impulsive decision to do something crazy, I couldn’t
resist myself. So Layne and I said
heck yes and headed up to the tower to get our bungee on with a couple other
paying customers.
I will let the pictures speak for this experience but let’s
just say that it was WAY scarier to me than when I sky-dived (dove?). Something about the water being so
close was terrifying. My full
intention was to crow like a dying rooster on my way down to the water but I
couldn’t get a single sound out until after I hit the water…at which point I
absolutely let out the scream of a perishing cock-a-doodle-doo. It was really fun though and I am super
glad that I got the opportunity to do it!
Seriously though, forget the trump cards. I feel so blessed to be able to have so much adventure along with the spiritual growth of this year. Jesus is so good to me that He doesn’t just give me a year filled with spiritual adventure but that He also lets me have the chance to do things like raft the Nile and go bungee jumping. Mmmm mmmm good.
Now I must share with you the story of Christian and Mrs.
Izzard.
So, the reality of my life at this point is that I have been
in Africa for 3 months which means that, when I see a food that is an American
brand, I GO FOR IT. Doesn’t matter
if I generally would have no interest in it when I’m back home or not. I GO FOR IT.
The number one recent victim of my Americanism is Ritz
crackers. I hadn’t eaten them for
YEARS before I left for the race; but if you asked me right now, I would swear
that they are a staple food group in and of themselves. They are delicious with peanut butter
and without peanut butter. They
are my saving grace when it is 11 at night and I realize that I forgot to take
my malaria med that day (“Take with food.”) I love them.
Ergo, there were a few weeks this month where you could literally find a
half-eaten or whole-eaten sleeve of ritz crackers beside my bed every night
after I fell asleep.
One night about a week ago, I was sleeping soundly in my
room. I was in between teams at
the time and was resting in a hostel in Kampala. Sometime during the middle of the night, I awoke to a noise.
I looked at my watch and saw that it was around 4 am. I lay there for about a minute trying to ascertain what kind
of noise I was hearing. It sounded
like a weird scratching/chomping sound.
I think was confused me so much about it though was it sounded like
something was SMACKING while eating…and it was coming from underneath my bed. It was an eating noise that I hadn’t
heard before.
I decided to investigate. Slowly, I moved
to the edge of my bed and hung my head over the side. It was very dark but I had my headlamp. Once, I was in position, I beamed my
light underneath the bed towards the noise! I saw a half-eaten sleeve of Ritz crackers sitting there;
the packaging shredded and some of the crackers clearly munched. However, there was no sign of the
culprit. I looked around for a
little while but eventually gave up.
Literally the moment that I lay back down in my bed, I heard
the noise again. If I had been
quiet the first time that I moved to the edge of the bed, then this time I
actually made silence. That means that when I moved, the room actually got even
quieter than it had been before I moved.
I was THAT quiet. However,
the second that I beamed my light on, I saw nothing other than that package of
Ritz sitting there with a bit less wrapper than before.
This time, I decided not to lay back down. Instead, I just turned my light off and
stayed there. I waited about a
minute until I started hearing the noise again. I waited a couple of seconds and then blasted the Ritz
wrapper with my headlamp!
It all happened very fast but I swear, there was a lizard
(Mrs. Izzard I presume) that was about 8 inches long plus the tail sitting
there on top of my Ritz wrapper.
It was very still for a split second as it stared at me right in my
eyes. Then, like a bolt of
lightening, it ZOOMED right at my face!!
It was absolutely terrifying, I’m not gonna lie. I mean come on; picture a lizard 8
inches long plus tail! It was a
big guy! But it flew at my face.
I may or may not have let out a quiet “HOLY SHIZ!” as it
flew under my head and straight for my door. The crack under my door is pretty big and the lizard ran
straight for it. She was out of
the room before I could even say goodbye.
She just left me there.
Needless to say, I immediately stuffed a towel in the crack
under the door. Once I laid back
down in bed, I would say that I probably took 40 minutes to fall asleep
again. Nerves were running a
little high. Wish I could say that
sleeping with a lizard was an atypical experience but at this point, the only
thing atypical about it was that there were actually crackers left in the
wrapper for it to eat. Usually I down
them all before I go to sleep eh?
Ok, now that you’ve gotten to read about 1700 words of super
entertaining nonsense, I think I must let you go. I have a couple more adventures to share with you but
methinks they must wait until next post.
Don’t worry, it will be coming soon. Once I start writing, I typically bang out 3-5 posts in a
couple days. It doesn’t really
make sense considering that I go for weeks without writing only to have a few
days that are PACKED but what can I say?
The Days Are Just Packed (that’s a reference and if you catch it, I’m
super proud of you and you get my utmost respect) and sometimes it is hard to
find time to write. When I get a
few days to rest and relax, I just go nuts on this keyboard here.
I love my family. I love my friends. I love my lady. Miss you all. I am actually not getting this posted til now…at which point I am in Bangkok, Thailand!! We made it safely and I am excited for this month. Hopefully can fill you in on it as it goes by.
