Saying goodbye is hard. In some cases, 9 months is a small gap in the long relationship I have had—and will have—with people, whereas other times, 9 months can be a huge part of a relationship. Saying goodbye to my parents who I have known for 230 months was hard, but I was really saying goodbye for only a small blink of time compared to the time we’ve spent together. However, saying goodbye to my best friend and girlfriend was really hard. We have been dating for 9 months, and now I’m leaving for that same amount of time, which makes it seem like an eternity. Or leaving my youth group where my faith began and developed was a harsh reality of growing up.
As I grow and change for 9 months, so will everyone else. It is hard to imagine the people I will return home to. All these goodbyes are small throwing stones; some hurt more than others, yet they all leave bruises. As I left on a cramped seat from Denver International Airport with a random guy leaning on me, I thought that all those small stones were going to be the Cain to my Abel of spirit. I felt like I had dug a hole 30 feet deep and forgot to bring a ladder.
Thankfully, it seems that the hardest days bring up the best moments. The sadness and fear seemed to keep bombarding me and I thought I was finally going to collapse from the weight of a thousand hand-sized throwing stones. But thanks to the Lord, I have the shields of my squad and the helping hands of my team. Now with their help, I know how to handle these situations. I can travel these 9 months with those here and those at home all in my heart at the same time. And most importantly, I can do it with joy.
As I sit here in San Francisco, I can look forward with excitement to the next 9 months and be content that everyone else at home will continue on with the Lord right beside them even when I can’t be. I am so grateful for that. I sit here with many memories that bring me the warmth and peace of home while still feeling ready to face the unknown.
