This week my nephew was born. The first grand baby. The first child. The first nephew. And all of us, every one of us who love my brother or sister in law, our worlds are forever changed.
The night before his birth, I started to think about legacy. And about the idea of doing life changing things and how life actually changes as a result of what we do. My tiny little nephew, Sid the Kid, is a life changer already. He has impacted the world just by his sheer presence in it. His teeny growl of a cry ushers in adoration and unbelievable love in one millisecond of a moment.
It’s incredible, really, to watch that happen. To watch the people you love, fall instantly in love with another human in a matter of minutes. It is one of the most awe inspiring things I could ever see and never have imagined.
And maybe that’s what it’s all about, this being a life changer thing. Maybe it’s wrapped up in vulnerability and love and having zero control. Sid the Kid does it perfectly. He doesn’t even have to try at needing people. It comes easy, his loving people and wanting to be close to them and letting life be the messy thing it is. It’s really very uncomplicated.
But it’s complicated for me. Being a life changer, choosing to show people all of myself and love them deeper, is a life goal for me. I can’t imagine ever being done doing it. Like one day that I would wake up and say, “Done. I’m perfect at loving people. Never again will I be irritated with the barista for asking me annoying questions about my coffee preferences.”
And THAT is annoying to me. I want to be done. I don’t want to journey. I want to arrive.
But God tells me to slow down and breathe. He wants me to know that I’m human and He wants me to accept myself there. Utterly imperfect and unbelievably in need. Because if I can do that, I realize that HE exactly what I need. In order for me to be a life changer, to change the world around me, to love people all vulnerably and messy, I have to have Him. I can’t do it without.
It’s here that I find my legacy. It’s here that I change life. In the fullness of Christ.
The next year and a half of my life will be a whole lot of messy. Dusty, dirty, laughing, tearful, heart wrenching, somber, relational, messy. But I can’t tell you how excited I am to find Him there. It’s weird to say, but I know that God is waiting for me. I know He wants me to dive in with Him. To trust Him more and allow Him in to the places I try to shut Him out of. I can feel it in my being, just under the surface, waiting for me to lean in.
So here we go.
Leaning in.
Lets all be brave.
