Last week I had the incredible opportunity to spend a week with my boyfriend in Germany. I had a wonderful time being able to see and understand more of his life and his family. I could write a few blogs just sharing the things we did, but I MUST share with you what happened the last night before I left to come back home.
After having a great dinner together, we went upstairs to talk and pray and say our good byes before going to the airport in the morning. As we were reflecting on the week, I started to cry thinking about leaving. I would cry a bit, let it out and be fine.
Normal.
Then we would talk about something else and I would start to cry again, let it out and be fine.
Still normal.
Well, these moments of crying started to become more frequent and more intense. Eventually it really got out of control. I started shaking and could not stop crying. For about an hour and a half I cried on and off.
If you know me at all, this is NOT normal.
Even in the past 6 weeks as I have been releasing more and more past hurt, I still have not cried like that before. It got to a point where my boyfriend had to tell me to go to bed because he could see that the longer I stayed the worse it got.
So I did because he was right, but I still wasn’t happy. I could not release my feelings of fear and anxiety about leaving.
I eventually went to bed and dealt with it in the morning.
When I woke up, I was able to reflect on the evening. Here is what I came up with:
MY BOYFRIEND WAS MY GOD that week.
The thought of leaving him was like losing myself and I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know how I would continue.
Have you ever been in this situation with someone? Have you made someone else your God? If so, did they completely satisfy what you needed?
In that situation, nothing my boyfriend did really could help. I put him in a position to be my God when that is not his job. I was looking to him for comfort when ultimately I needed to get that comfort from God. I essentially set him up for failure because he could not give me what I needed. If it weren’t for God leading my boyfriend to help me go to bed, we would have been in a bad situation.
I know I NEED to go on the World Race and learn what it really means to put God first over my romantic relationship. Because in all honesty, even with the amount of praying and bible reading I am doing, I still place other things above God.
What is it that you are putting your identity in? Who are you putting in a risky situation by making them your God?
I praise God that He showed me this before leaving on the race when I have to leave my boyfriend for a year. God ultimately knows what is best for us and when we completely follow Him, He will not disappoint. He knows that my trust must be in Him first before giving anyone else that title.
Who REALLY is your God??
