I sat from the audience and watched my parents get teary-eyed as they handed my brother his high school diploma. He had officially graduated high school as a homeschooled student. I watched many more seniors and their nostalgic parents walk across the stage while the MC read a short biography about the students and their plans for the near future. Majoring in photojournalism at such and such university. Working a new job with fantastic benefits. Taking an internship in a field they’re passionate about. Everyone seemed so sure of themselves. And I wasn’t.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and my day to walk that stage and move my tassel was right around the corner. I had general ideas based on what I was passionate about, but I didn’t feel the Lord calling me in any specific direction, to any specific major or college. Picturing myself standing beside my parents on that stage I imagined the MC telling the audience of my magnificent and out of the box plans to take a year off before college and go on a missions trip. That was something I could see myself doing.
I grew a lot in the months following that day. I had received so many things that I had asked the Lord for for years. Solid friendships, opportunities to explore my talents, personal growth, and closeness to the Lord. But the most surprising was that I was actually content with where I was. A few years prior I went on a missions trip to Uganda and I had caught the travel bug. Ever since I got back all I wanted to do was go. Explore. Have adventures. Live an exciting life. And I felt like I could get none of that in Plain City Ohio. However, slowly but surely I found myself loving where I was at. I somehow began to see the beauty in the cornfields. I spent my time loving and laughing with my friends, instead of wishing I could be doing something “exciting”. And of course, as soon as I become comfortable, that’s when the Lord says “go.”
My senior year was upon me, and I still had no direction. I didn’t know what college I wanted to attend. I didn’t know what I wanted to major in. I hadn’t taken the SAT or ACT. I didn’t even know what classes I was taking to finish out my high school education. But as I grew closer to the Lord, I trusted Him with my future. I was praying a lot more and seeking His will in my decisions. And that’s when everything changed.
“…I’ve prayed for this (a direction for my future) before, and the answer I’ve always received has just been to wait, and to cast my cares on you.” I wrote in my journal. “But today was different. Today I prayed that You would open and close doors to show me what I’m supposed to do, which one You wanted me to walk though. I stumbled upon a video this afternoon which almost seemed like a direct answer to that prayer. It was a video for the World Race gap year program and the entire concept for the video was about doors, and it asked ‘why not walk through this one?’. I cried when I realized what I had prayed this morning. Is this finally an answer? Is this what you want for me, Lord? This was from you wasn’t it?”
It took my stubborn self a few more weeks, and a lot more door references to accept it, but yes, it was from Him. This was my door. And here I am several months later starting to walk through it. The door is so wide open, and the Lord is with me. I’m excited. I’m scared. I’m ready. I’m not prepared. But I’m going to keep walking with God guiding my steps, welcoming the future ahead. Welcoming the World Race.
“And pray for us,too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.” ~ Colossians 4:3-4
