Ha… you’re surprised right? The truth is, it didn’t. Here’s why. The World Race is an 11 month mission trip to 11 different countries in different regions of the world ( in my case, we traveled to 13 different countries but lived in 11). I’ve been asked to preach and teach the gospel, I’ve taught English classes, prepared services with my teams, prayed over the sick for healing, held women’s retreats, embraced new cultures, and have made friendships with “the least of these”. I’ve eaten rice probably every single day on the race ( not a lie) and a plethora of other foods from each country (Momo’s from Nepal are delicious ). I’ve picked up several words from the different languages we heard on the race. I’ve gone on fun adventures like canyoning in the River Coco in Nicaragua. I’ve hiked a Hindu cave in Nepal, walked through the ancient ruins of Hampi, India, and snorkeled in Thailand. Overall, my experience on the race was absolutely incredible and I wouldn’t change it for the world. BUT… this didn’t change me.
Here is what did.
Jesus. Yes, I know sounds like a typical Sunday school answer, but it’s the truth. Initially I was going to call this “Why Jesus?” but the title’s been taken already by several blogs and sermons.
“Why Jesus?”
Honestly, it’s been a question, I’ve asked myself this past year. Why did I come on the race? Why did I leave my family and my friends to go on a missions trip for 11 months? Why did I quit my job? Why did I leave MY CLOSET?
By the way I can’t wait to reunite with my wardrobe soon!
Why did I give up my plans just to follow God? I did it because of Jesus. Do you think I would be able to leave all that behind if it he wasn’t real? I still ask myself that too.
I did the race because of Jesus. Not for my fame or glory. Not to be a hero. But for his fame, for his glory and to show the world who the real hero is. He saved me from all my sins PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE (yes, he knows even the ones I’ll commit ahead and STILL he loves me). He asked me to go on this adventure with him, so I would KNOW his heart for the world…and for me. He is FOR me. He is my sweet ABBA! ( wow that feels good to say) He delights in me and longs to spend time with me. He longs to see his purpose fulfilled in me. Jesus has wrecked my life. My plans, my dreams, everything just so that I can know him in the process. Sounds harsh, but here’s the thing, Jesus is so much better than things I’ve desired and planned for myself.
Because of this I had to make a decision. Many decisions. Every day, I had to make the decision to pursue God. Every day, I had to decide to choose joy rather than self- pity. Every day I had to choose to love my teammates and squad-mates and even my ministry hosts. Every day I had to make the decision to listen to God first rather than my own desires. Those were the best decisions I’ve made. The World Race is JUST a missions trip if you let it be just that. But it can be so much more if you let GOD step in and transform you from the inside out. Jesus changed a lot of my perspective about the world. He broke my heart for the lost, the poor, the exploited and the exploiter, and persecuted Christians. While traveling through breathtaking landscapes, he showed me how even the small details of his creation are significant to him. He showed me how simple joy can be received in just a child’s smile. Most importantly, God showed me how vast his love is for me. Throughout the 11 months of the race, God continued to prove himself faithful. Many of my prayers were answered in ways that I wouldn’t have expected. God didn’t forget me this year.
So I’m coming home in 10 days, leaving these 11 months behind and walking into a new season. A former world racer told us that in this new season it will be even better then the last. “God doesn’t promise us to go from glory to crap, he promises from glory to glory.” I needed to hear that. God didn’t take me on the race, just for me to say “Wow, God that’s all you had for me?” No. There is so much more in this next year!
Something that I want all you to know is that I may not be the same.
Disclaimer: I’m not coming back home a Superhero or a Super Christian for that matter. PLEASE DO NOT BELIEVE THAT. I did the race out of simple obedience but it wasn’t easy. God has drawn me so much closer to his heart and it’s beautiful. Know this: I AM STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS. I am coming back changed but NOT perfect. This year God stretched me incredibly and I’m still learning the things he’s taught me on the race. Guess what? There’s still more to be learned after it’s done.
Also, understand that I am leaving others behind – My dear R SQUAD. God knew exactly what he was doing when he put this route together. We were more than a squad, we became family. They have seen and walked me through some of the happiest and some of the worst of times. Even at my lowest they simply loved me. They’ve spoken truth over me. They’ve cared for me and encouraged me in so many ways. I couldn’t imagine being on another squad on any other route. They have been such a blessing to me … but now I must say goodbye.
AND IT’S HARD.
My friend Rebecca wrote an awesome blog about welcoming a missionary home. If you haven’t read it please go to rebeccafrantz.theworldrace.org. She writes,
“Our squad has experienced so much in other cultures that most people will never experience in their lifetime. Living in such close community in countries where nothing is familiar has forced us to rely on each other in ways that we’ve never had to rely on others before. We have seen each other at our worst. We’ve been vulnerable together and shared things with each other that we’ve never shared before. We’ve cried together, grown together, and challenged each other to grow closer to God. This does not take away from the relationships we’ve invested in with people before the race, but I want you to know that our return home isn’t pure excitement for us. We have formed bonds with each other, with our ministry hosts, and with the people we’ve met overseas that we never expected to form. This does not take away from the love that we have for you, but we will need time to grieve the end of this trip and to mourn the separation from each other. And I don’t mean a few days. For some it will take weeks, and for others it will take months.”
Rebecca said it best!
Please, be patient with me. I may be more quiet, more observant. I might want company. I might not. I may just want to sit next to you but not speak. You may find me talk about Jesus all the time. I may need a hug or some encouragement to get through the day. And I may cry every single day for the next month, but bear with me. Please understand that I will be processing what the Lord did this past year. I also don’t want to make this about me. Guys, it’s about Jesus. It’s always been about him. I am just a vessel he used. When you see me, give glory to God, not to me.
I can’t wait to see everyone because I’ve missed you all so much. I would love to meet with you to speak about my experience, but just know I might need some time to readjust to being home.
Thank you to all of you who have consistently kept my squad and my teammates in your prayers. Thank you to all my supporters for blessing me with this amazing opportunity! Thank you for reaching out to me during my time on the race. It meant so much to me! Healings and miracles were done in the name of Jesus. People came to know Christ as their Savior… and well, I got to see God move throughout the nations! Thank you for being apart of it!
Recently, the enemy has tempted me with thoughts that are not my own. Thoughts that have caused me doubt and worry of what the future will bring. I’ve been clinging onto the Lord with everything I am. God probably has claw marks in his arms from how much I’ve been digging into him. Even with this torment, I’ve felt the love of my sweet Abba! Oh, man he is so sweet!
He reminded me of this verse in Jeremiah 29:11
“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,‘declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”
Whatever the future holds, God is still in control and he still has good for me…whatever that looks like. I can lean on his promises and know that although this season is over, my walk with him isn’t. And I can finally say with all confidence, MY GOD, MY DEAR ABBA, MY PAPA is so good!
RSQUAD … I love you all so dearly. Thank you for being my family. Thank you for loving God and putting him first. Thank you for being the Acts 2 church in every way. Thank you for loving me even when it was hard to love myself. I am so grateful to have done life with all of you this year. May God continue to bless all of you in wherever he leads you. God has something so good for each of you. Just hold onto him. I pray each of you would crave him more and more each day. I pray you can’t get enough of him! I pray each of you will know who you are in Christ: His beloved son. His beloved daughter. Pure. Holy. Dearly Loved. I will miss you all so much!
“Mama I’m coming home !”
