Every now and then it just gets overwhelming. You find yourself staring at a task and wishing it would take care of itself because it seems impossible.
You might find yourself in one of the poorest villages in Cape Town at an after school program with children who flip you off and stab you in the foot with a fork. They might tackle you and get angry when you ask them to follow directions. They may even make out with their arm when you try to talk to them about their behavior. These kids just might be four years old thinking it’s cool to throw up the signs of their favorite gangs every time a camera comes around.
Maybe you are looking at the beginnings of a greenhouse and your job is to work with five girls and two shovels to dig up all the weeds, rocks, toilet seats and barbed wire you find in the frustratingly unbreakable dirt before making the ground level and ready to plant.
You might be in the same taxi with the same kind driver you’ve been with since the month started. He might buy you ice cream and bubble gum pink meat when he knows you haven’t had lunch yet. This same man could be a devote Muslim with completely different beliefs that don’t seem to waver no matter what you say to him.
Maybe you’re looking at yourself. Maybe you’ve realized just how flawed you are and the things you thought you had walked through and out of are nipping at your heels again. Why is it that sometimes we just feel distant from God? You realize that no matter what you do or how hard you try, there is simply nothing you can do to reach perfection.
It was our first day working in the greenhouse tunnels and we were scattered about randomly trying to get out all the weeds. Jenny and I had the two shovels so we began to dig up the ground to try and make it level. When we started, we didn’t have a plan in mind and I looked at all we had to do and became overwhelmed. I told Jenny I needed to have a goal for each day and we decided to focus on finishing one section at a time. When I was able to focus on one thing, the project was much less overwhelming.
This made me think about the kids we work with in Phumlani village. These kids need love and attention and a crap ton of discipline. I realized that if we tried to “fix” all of these kids’ problems in the short time we were here, we wouldn’t get much done. We are here for a month, but Malcolm is here for good. All we can do is love these kids, even when it’s hard, with the time we have.
Maybe my job isn’t to convert our taxi driver. Maybe he won’t fully understand God’s love while I’m here but just maybe he will remember that we were full of joy and love and that we cared about him.
I then started thinking about myself and the people around me. We all have our struggles and things that frustrate us about ourselves. We have things we can’t shake and habits we can’t kick. I have realized that if I focus on the mass number of issues I have, I can’t get a thing done and I don’t change one bit. I have to focus on one thing and one thing only.
If I devote myself to joy in Christ, who He is and who He promises to be, only then can the problems I face within myself begin to change. Our joy should not come as a result of our circumstances, it should not leave when affliction comes and it should not be gained when things are going well. Joy should be a constant in our lives because grace is the source. Everything else can fade away and it doesn’t matter because we have something greater and something lasting.
“Love is the overflow of joy in God that meets the needs of others” – John Piper
When we focus on joy in Christ, we will naturally love others. We are able to see others without the blindfolds of comparison, judgments or envy. We begin to see each other the way God intended us to and God begins to melt the layers of issues we were so overwhelmed with before.
