We are loved by God even when we don’t want to love Him back.
There have been times in my life when I have ignored the love God is constantly pouring out on me. I have found shallow satisfaction in so many things and at times I have felt like I have everything I need on my own. In these moments, I think I am happy- and I might have been- but I’m realizing now how much more joy there is when my heart is open for Him to pour His truth and love into. He has been there at every moment just itching for me to look up and see how much He yearns to have my affection.
This past week I was a counselor at an English camp here in Tiraspol. In my group, I had four of the most stubborn, independent and angry boys I have ever met. They were all around the age of ten and from the moment they stepped off the bus, I felt like they were determined to have no fun at all.
The camp was set up to be a regular Vacation Bible School like the ones in America; the only difference was that the kids were mostly Russian and would have an hour of learning English each day. We had games, dances, fun worship songs and activities, and good snacks. You would think it would be the perfect set up for an awesome week right? Well it was an incredible week but it didn’t start off that way for me. God gave me a little taste of what it feels like to love regardless of whether or not my love is accepted or returned.
Like I said, the boys were stubborn and independent. They were the youngest kids at the camp and because of that they were very concerned with how they were viewed by the older kids. For example, one day we all were supposed to wear our clothes inside out. So, the kids changed their clothes and went downstairs to find that some of the older groups hadn’t done it yet. They started yelling in Russian about how they felt stupid and went back upstairs to change. During the sessions we had at night, we would dance and be silly but my group of boys never wanted to join in.
I wanted them to realize how much better camp would be if they would just dance and not care about what the people around them thought.
Kind of like how God wants us to realize how much better life would be if we could just dance and not care about what the people around us think.
I spent the week praying and trying everything I could to make them see that I loved them and really cared about them. I couldn’t speak their language and they couldn’t understand much of mine but I spent my time latching on to any opportunity they gave me to prove that I cared about them. I played slap jack, took pictures, played volleyball, had sand fights, and rolled around in mud and week old food just to show them I wanted to have a relationship with them.
Jesus spent His entire life on earth doing the very same thing… only He was ridiculed and persecuted, rejected and crucified. He was beaten until he was just about dead and he was nailed to a cross – all to prove how much He loves us and wants to have a relationship with us.
It was incredible to see how much God worked in the lives of these four boys throughout the week. By the end, they were joining in the dances, performing skits, praying and memorizing scripture verses. One of the best moments for me was when Vasia (who had been scowling at me all week) smiled at me before he fell asleep. He smiled again when I told him I loved him in Russian and he even said he loved me back.
Christ is always fighting for us and pursuing us, eagerly anticipating the moment when we will let him in to the deepest parts of who we are because he knows how much joy He has to offer when we do.
