About a month ago X squad was in Kuala Lumpur on the rooftop of a hostel. I was sitting on the ledge of the building singing and praying to the Lord. I was asking the Holy Spirit to show up, to do something awesome, to move, to awaken everyone on the roof. I wasn’t hearing a response from Jesus. I asked him “are you listening, do you hear me, are you talking to me?” I still didn’t hear anything. We moved in to a time of squad prayer. God was moving in people’s lives, so I began to see that he was doing something on this night. It was kind of like a taste of what was coming later on in the evening. After praying over several people and seeing God begin some healing, we then broke into teams and prayed some more about joy, love, growth, family, unity, being children of God, and lifestyle. Then we all came back together, and that’s when God broke me.
Alicia stood up and shared with the squad that God put something very heavy on her heart. He gave her a poem that was for someone on the squad.
She read it.
God moved.
It was for me.
This is her poem…
You cannot contain what is in your core
You cannot compare to what you were before
You cannot see but you can canter
You are my light you are my lantern
You are attached to my heart like a car on a cable
You my dear are beyond prepared
You – are able
You name is carved in my heart
But you think it says cowered
But if you look a bit closer
You’d see it really say towered
For you towered over the fear
You towered even when he hit you
You towered even though you bawled
You towered by loving through the hurt
For You towered above all
Above all of the lies
Above all of the times he raised his hand to your face
You towered through his destruction
Because You ran into my arms
You ran to see my face
So you think you can’t see
But remember you can canter
Because you are my light, you are my lantern.
While she was reading it, tears began to fall down my face. I was shaking. I knew God had given it to her for me. At the end, she stood in silence for a moment, and then she said if that was for you, you don’t have to say so but if you did we would love to pray for you.
I’m sitting on the ledge crying and shaking with my heart pounding. I make eye contact with Hanna Taylor twice and I think she knows it was for me.
I speak up. “I’ll take that,” was all I could get out before I was sobbing in front of the whole squad.
I didn’t know how to act in that moment. I didn’t know how anyone on the squad would react to my tears or the implications behind them. I didn’t know what to do other than say what I had prayed and let the squad see that God had answered my prayer.
Alicia comes to me with tears in her eyes and embraces me. The squad prayed over me. It was overwhelming the amount of presence of the Holy Spirit that I felt in those moments.
Conversations with God are two-way. They just might be down different avenues than you’re looking.
