A few years ago I began attending The Austin Stone Community Church. I was sitting listening to a sermon about missions and what it means to be missional minded and motivated. God wrecked me with the words of the speaker.
It's difficult to accurately describe how God transformed my way of living. I suppose I have to give a bit of my life history to get the concept out there. I did get to grow up knowing about Jesus from birth. I have devoted God-fearing parents and grandparents. Christianity was a culture I was imersed in. Though I probably heard a truth-filled description of the Gospel of Jesus, I did not have ears to hear it. Christianity became a religion to me in which I became a very legalistic person. I knew what grace was and to some extent accepted it. For the most part, though, I did not let it be applied to my life. Sin was my ruler – not in the way where I worshipped it (though anything before my God is an idol). It was more like I couldn't look beyond my sin at what God sees, which is Jesus. I lived in guilt and was burdened which produced a worship-less life. Yes, sin separated me from God, and I should feel sorrow at my actions against my Jesus. But under the gospel of grace, mercy, and compassion, I should feel freedom and be able to worship victoriously. The last line is full of concepts I didn't understand until a few years ago when God slapped me in the face.
Back to motivations then. It was through God placing people in my life to disciple me that He opened me up to living on mission wherever I am right now. When I was younger I wanted to travel and be a missionary outside of my home country. That desire never went away, but God had to grow me to see that if I'm not living for His kingdom where I am, what would be different with new scenery? So, for the last few years that has been my motivation. Not to change for Him to send me, but to change for His kingdom. It just so happens that He still wants to use me in the capacity of being a missionary overseas.
