October 6th
I’ve felt like a crazy person for the last month. I can’t tell you how many times I made trips to Walmart, Target, CVS and outdoor stores to buy every traveling item imaginable. Every time I would check all of the items off of my packing list I would read a blog or talk to a squad mate who reminded me of another dozen things that “might come in handy.” Not knowing what I’m going to be doing or where I’m going to be doing it has made packing for this trip somewhat of a nightmare.
This morning I was frantically packing, trying to figure out how in the world I was going to fit a year’s worth of stuff in a 40 pound sack when out of the corner of my eye I spotted “Jesus, Calling” (the devotional I had recently been neglecting). Upon opening it, this is what I read
“Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow Me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don’t know what lies ahead, I know; and that is enough! Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight, but nonetheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith- not by sight. This doesn’t mean closing your eyes to what is all around you. It means subordinating the visible world to the invisible shepherd of your soul.”
Even as I sit here, in flight to LA, with one of my squad mates right beside me, I’m still finding it hard to believe that I won’t be heading back to South Carolina in a few days. Was that really the last time I’m going to see my family and friends for 11 months? Am I really going to be living out of a pack for almost a year? Despite the giant elephants that are running around in my stomach as I ask myself these questions, in my heart, I know that this is absolutely what I’m supposed to be doing. Though I don’t know exactly what lies ahead or if I’m going to end up needing any of the precautionary stuff I packed, God is using this trip to break me of my habitual nature and to teach me to walk by faith- not by sight.
