8 days.
That is all I have left in the beautiful city of Cartagena, Colombia.
8 more days with my new family. 8 more days of blaring salsa music 24/7. 8 more days in the slums that have become home. 8 more days with all of my new Colombian friends. 8 more days with the kids who have stolen my heart.
I forgot about this part, about the leaving. Leaving doesn’t just happen at launch or when we go back… It has dawned on me that this will be a year full of leaving.
So why? Why did God bring me here to leave in what feels like an instant? The only answer I can formulate is because He loves. And so I. He is teaching me how to love the whole world with an open and grateful heart. He doesn’t just love some people, He loves ALL people and I want to love how He loves.
As I begin to prepare for my departure, my heart is heavy. But it is heavy because it is so incredibly full. Full of His people, His creation, of Him. When we love we sink our claws in deep so that it can never get away, so that it will be ours to keep forever. But love is not characterized by possession. Love is free.
Love
Is
Free.
This has been my battle cry for years and yet now that the time has come to live it I hesitate. Leaving feels like losing. It feels like quitting. And I can feel my hands begin to twitch at my sides, ready to grab whatever I can in a desperate attempt to keep what I have here. But that is not free love. That is not love at all.
So I will stand with the Cross and love freely. I will love to the last breath. I will let my love be His and only His because He is free and true and good.
Does this mean I will put Colombian behind me and march forward without ever looking back? Never. There is a line between continuing a journey and discarding what has been given to you. I will continue forward but I will never forget. This family that has taken me in will remain my family with letters and emails and maybe even visits. This community will remain in my prayers as long as I have breath.
And who knows? I love a God of opportunity and goodness. Maybe He will bring me back here, to the place where my heart came alive again. The place where I feel my “self” restored. Until then I will keep in touch, pray, and practice my Spanish 😉
