In the last two weeks I have mourned the loss 2 incredible people in my life. A mentor from my college years that forever changed my life: Father Michael Scanlan. And just last night a close friend and former co-worker: Mr. Lionell Ben.
And these aren’t the only big events that have continued on in my absence. I’ve missed long-awaited reunions, weddings of couples I’ve known since the beginning, and come June I will miss the high school graduation of my youngest sister.
The day before Father Michael passed away I rejoiced in the birth of the first child of my best friend of 21 years and mourned not being there to hold her hand. I mourn the first 7 months of Colton’s life that I will never get to spend with him.
All of these events, including my dad having emergency surgery, my little sister getting in a car accident, friend’s broken hearts and life crises… I hear about and see through places like facebook and email.
When we’re home and life milestones happen, things go wrong, or people die closure is so readily accessible. We dance at the weddings. We change the first hundred diapers. We cry at the funerals and hold the hands of others that loved them too.
But here… there is no reception to celebrate the new family. There is no visiting your sick father in the hospital. There is no holding your friend’s hand while she cries. There is no kneeling beside the body to say your last goodbye.
There are currently 3,655 miles between where I sit on my balcony in Cusco, Peru and my home in Columbia, Maryland. And it hurts.
So as I sit here, what do I have? Where does my peace and closure come from?
Here I have the painful but beautiful privilege to lean deeply into the Lord and allow Him to be enough. I get to see how beyond the ceremonies and experiences we have to comfort ourselves, He is all I will ever truly need.
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4
Not only does the pain and loss bring me deeper into prayer with Him and for those I love, He has blessed me with a community. This community weeps with me, mourns with me, and celebrates with me. We have all experienced the various losses of giving up our lives to follow Him. And like He promises in John chapter 14, He will not leave us desolate.
The sacrifices of being away seem great but His purpose is greater. And this trust in His goodness and purpose is what makes it all worth it.
Please pray for the souls of my departed friends:
Fr. Michael Scanlan Mr. Lionell Ben Sr.
