I went to my extended family’s Thanksgiving get-together recently and found myself humbled and speechless.
If I am being honest, I have felt like my family thinks me odd.
I mean, I am odd, but I have always felt as though every time I am not around, I get the proverbial “Side eyes” and whispers about my inadequacy as a missionary.
Because I know I am inadequate. I often wonder how many people, family included, hold conversations in which they discuss me being a “holier-than-thou” pious pharisee. It is something I fear for myself. I never want to become that.
Sometimes, I even think that those people closest to me–especially family–feel like I am using them for their money so that I can be a wild, bearded missionary.
I am afraid people think these things about me, because I often feel badly about them, myself. I sometimes feel like a pious, religious zealot. I know I am inadequate, and I hate having to constantly bum money off of those who work so hard for it. But I have learned that God loves to use the inadequate (like myself).
He wants His people to join together in His work by praying, giving, and going. If I could pay for this trip myself, I deprive Him of the glory of provision. And the battle of pride, arrogance, and intimacy with God (so that I am not a religious zealot) is one that is constant and ongoing, but he loves to humble me.
And Humbling is the only way I can describe what has been happening.
Like I said, I went to a family meal, and I was afraid of what other people might think of me. When I arrived (late–typical), they gave me a minute to speak about this journey to everyone who was present, and then took up a love offering. Besides the fact that they gave $260 dollars without having any prior notice of this, I was probably most humbled by the “offering box”. It was a shoe box, wrapped in a map, labelled with my Name and all the countries I’ll be going to.
The money was awesome, but the box was incredible. Someone had taken time to make that box. They put creativity, time, money, energy, concern and a lot of other cool things I can’t even think of into making it.
And I didn’t know what to say.
So I put that money into my ministry bank account and a day or two later I got onto my fundraising page so I could deposit that money into my official support account.
Much to my surprise, I saw that my goal had been metl! (7500 by December 18th)
Friends and family from all walks of life had selflessly given to get me to this point. I scrolled through the names and amounts, and I teared up a bit (Yea, I am man enough to admit it).
Every dollar represents a sacrifice. Every donation is overwhelming support.
Young students barely able to pay for their own life have chosen to give to His Kingdom work. Wealthy business men and women have contributed breathtaking amounts in order to join in on this journey. I get sort of misty eyed and choked up just thinking about it.
All these people–all of you guys–are supporting His Work in the Nations–But in doing so, supporting His calling in My life.
You are supporting me.
You all believe in me.
I don’t know what to say. Words are not enough. I want to hug you all from now until Christmas, because your support means so much. It means more than just going on this trip. To me, it says you all believe in me–in the work He has done and is doing in and through me. It says you believe that I will be a good missionary (God, I hope so) and you are willing to sacrifice money from yourselves and your families in order to see God’s kingdom work get done. (Even more incredible around the holiday season).
I am left speechless
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Thank you all for your support this far–we have come a long way together. But we are not done yet. My next goal is $12,000 in March, and as I am sure you can imagine, that is a bit daunting right now. Prayerfully consider faithfully giving a monthly donation.
Also, please continue to pray for all the lovely people on my Squad (
Z Squad) and My Team (team Meno).
Thank you all, brothers and sisters.
