As different as the toilets are in Japan, so is the culture. There is and always has been a very heavy emphasis in Japanese culture on honor, reputation, and being respectable. All of these things are admirable and good, but what it seems they have bred is a society in which people feel compelled to always be perfect, put together, and happy, all the time. One very telling indication of this reality is the way that everyone is dressed up VERY nicely at ALL times. It doesn’t matter if they are going to a job interview or the 7/11 on the corner, they do not leave their house without sprucing up their appearance (as you can imagine, we did not fit in very well with our ragged backpacker clothes). The most detrimental effect of this kind of culture is that hurt and weakness of any kind are always concealed. Transparency and being completely genuine and real gets choked out by the dominating need to appear strong and well.
Coming from the mostly working class or even poverty stricken neighborhoods that we had experienced all throughout South America, the needs had suddenly changed. We were so accustomed to the plight of the needy, the hungry, and the homeless. Now in a place where such bodily needs were more or less taken care of, we had to try and ascertain the real need of the people we were now attempting to love and serve. A truth that we knew from our lives in the U.S. came to mind – lives that may appear flawlessly whole and healthy on the outside, can very often be devastatingly empty and hurting on the inside. Most of our interactions with people in Japan were focused on being real and vulnerable with people and creating a safe place for them to do the same.
Lastly and very importantly, I would be remiss if my blog on Japan did not include a mention of the onsen experience. Picture an indoor spa, comfy and welcoming. You walk into a large room with a beautiful heated pool on one side and a sauna on the other. The door leading outside to the garden takes you down a well-crafted stone path, lined with bamboo and boulders. This leads to a series of pools, each pool a tad warmer than the last. Steam is rising off of the water into the moonlit sky. Everyone is relaxed, lounging around in the peaceful, soothing atmosphere. Got it?
Okay, now picture that you are naked. That’s right, you are standing around in your birthday suit, surrounded by about a hundred strangers that also happen to be quite naked. Welcome to the onsen, the Japanese public bathhouse! Terrifying? A bit. Awkward and uncomfortable? You have NO idea. Relaxing? Yes, surprisingly so….. granted that you have an open mind and can embrace the new liberated state that you find yourself in! To be fair, I should set a few facts straight. Onsens have separate sides for men and women. They are not some kind of nudist colony, at least not a coed one. Also, it is permissible to take with you a small cloth to cover your….um, unmentionables, as you traipse around from pool to pool. Lastly, it is not a substitute for regular bathing. Japanese homes do have bathrooms. The onsen is more of a weekly or monthly kind of thing, more for relaxation than bathing.
[Don’t worry, picture not found]
Now that I’ve done my due diligence dispelling some of your more troubling concerns, I’ll continue with my more dramatic account. There are varying levels of terror that you can enjoy with the onsen experience. Believe it or not, being at the onsen with complete strangers is the tamest of onsen experiences, coming in at about seven on the awkwardness scale. Going with close friends is actually worse, seeing as you will actually see these people again, and therefore it deserves a nine on the aforementioned scale. If you’re REALLY feeling up for a challenge and want to take the awkwardness to all new levels, you can do what Chrislyn and I did and go to the onsen with friends that you only just met that morning! (11.5 out of 10!) What other way to kick off a lifelong friendship than to get naked together!
I’ll spare you anymore talk about nudity, this being a family friendly blog after all, and tell you how we ended up being this year’s winners of The Most Awkward Bath of the Year Award. (What?! That’s not a real thing? Come on!) We met the Kobashi family by way of their two darling children whom we made a habit of playing with on Saturdays, along with a large group of other kids from the apartment complex close by. When they learned that we were hoping to find a place to buy some traditional Japanese pottery, they graciously cleared their plans the next day and planned a trip for us to go with them to a village an hour north where we spent to whole day together. We had an amazing time with them! We couldn’t believe how accommodating they were and how generous they were with their time and money. Not only did they arrange their whole day around our plans, they blessed us by gifting us the tea cups we found and were going to purchase.
As the day drew to a close, the Kobashi’s turned to us and asked if we would like to go to the onsen because the kids were very eager to go. Graciously, they insisted we felt no obligation, knowing how uncomfortable most foreigners are about onsen. We looked at each other, neither wanting to be the person to commit the other, but eventually found a less than enthusiastic “yes” coming out of our mouths. When in Rome, right? Turns out it was quite a fun and unique experience and if nothing else, good blogging material! The Kobashi family showed us how warm and welcoming the Japanese people can be. We will certainly never forget our special day with them.
