As a little girl, nightmares woke me up regularly. On more than one occasion I crawled into my parents’ room, snuggling up next to them for protection. I was even afraid to hang my hand over the mattress when I slept for fear of creatures grabbing it in my sleep. Walking down the hall at night would send me scurrying to my bed to cover my head in safety from whatever was lurking in the darkness.
Viewing a single scary movie in high school wreaked havoc on my mind for years to come and made driving home at night terrifying. I pictured evil all around me and my imagination ran rampant with possibilities of what scary things could happen. Watching episodes of Law & Order: SVU while home alone certainly didn’t help. Even through college and as an adult, an intense or scary part of a movie would cause me to hide behind a pillow or grip whoever was closest to me.
Other fears were more rational and based on experience. In eighth grade I experienced the death of a loved one for the first time when my sweet grandmother passed away. Two years later, a friend (and the boy I’d had a crush on for years) died in a car accident. Years passed by and some fears with them, but the fear of death and losing loved ones only magnified when I got married and prepared to leave the country for a year.
At training camp in May, I heard fear (not so quietly) creeping in.
I love my family and Chris too much; God is going to teach me a lesson by taking them away.
The fear of losing Chris…
I found myself wrestling with God, begging God not to take him away from me. In this battle, I became certain that God was saying, “Tough luck. You have lessons to learn and this is going to happen.”
As I wrestled and cried out to God, a quiet, but firm reminder surfaced.
My God is good. He is not vindictive.
Yes, God wants me to continue to grow.
Yes, God wants to be first in my life.
Yes, there is evil in the world and sometimes terrible things happen,
Yes, sometimes God uses difficult situations to draw us closer to Him.
But God does not want His children to hurt. He does not put evil in our path to make us grow.
God is all good all the time. The evil and pain in our life are from Satan.
My God is so great that He uses what Satan means for evil to bring about good.
It was then that I realized that these fearful thoughts I’d wrestled with for so long were not from God. These whispers and lies keeping me silent were keeping me from the truths and freedom God had for me.
God has been redeeming this hidden part of my life and I’m gaining freedom from what had me in bondage for so long. While in Colombia, the church we were part of was doing a sermon series on spiritual warfare.
One verse in particular really struck a chord for me.
2 Corinthians 10:5, “We demolish arguments and every lofty opinion that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
These arguments and lofty opinions are the lies of Satan…they contradict the knowledge (truths) of God. He’d been planting fearful thoughts in my mind. Satan sent spirits of anxiety and fear to me in hopes that I would not live in the freedom that Christ has offered.
But, there is such good news! The knowledge of God and His promises say so many good things….truths that contradict the thoughts and lies that filled my mind.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7
God does not want me to be fearful. He gives us power, love and self-control.
“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”” Romans 8:15
God does not give us slavery, but freedom. He adopted us (by choice) and calls us His sons and daughters.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18
These are God’s truths.
So, what do we do with these thoughts that Satan throws at us?
“The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We demolish arguments and every lofty opinion that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”” (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).
This war that Satan is waging is not a battle he can win and it is certainly not a battle I am facing on my own. 2 Corinthians 3:17, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
As a follower of Christ, I have the Spirit of the Lord living and residing in me. This is the DIVINE POWER (2 Cor. 10:4) of God – this power will not only send away, but DESTROY strongholds (verse 4).
This is what I pray for myself: take every thought captive (2 Cor. 10:5). Each time I feel fear creeping in, I give that thought to God. I ask God to destroy it and replace it with His truths.
God has taught me that I have to claim the freedom and not allow the lies of Satan to take root. I can’t entertain the thoughts he places in my mind – I have the power of God in me and, therefore, have the power to cast Satan and his lies out in the name of Jesus.
It hasn’t been an easy road for me and at times I still feel fear bubbling back up, but I’ve decided that I don’t want to be captive to it anymore.
Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
What is the yoke that Satan is trying to put you under? Fear? Anxiety? Lust? Comparison? Greed?
As you read this, I pray freedom over you. In the name of Jesus, I pray against the yoke Satan is trying to put you under. I pray for God to send an army around you and your thoughts.
Cast it off in the name of Jesus and declare the truths that Jesus has for you.
For freedom you are set free!
