So much growth. Looking back, month two of my World Race was a month of surfacing for air. It’s strange to word it that way, because that may not mean what you think. It’s as if I’ve been holding my breath for so long that coming up to breath is so foreign and even uncomfortable. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to actually breathe, not literally of course but spiritually and emotionally, that it’s actually painful in a way. My spiritual lungs have not been used much, and they are being expanded and revived. God is showing me what it means to truly live. I’ve been living in such a way to avoid pain at all costs, that in doing so I’ve been drowning myself spiritually. Cambodia was the month that God brought me to the surface for breath, for more of Him. I’ve been learning to accept my brokenness and even embrace it as it has been become a strong current bringing me closer to Christ, a vessel leading me closer to the cross. As I come to terms with my brokenness, I’m seeing more and more my need for Jesus in my life, and how desperately I need his strength. There are spiritual mountains that I’m climbing that seem so hopeless and daunting, but as I learn to seek Christ above all else, I’m less worried and anxious about reaching the top, and am more appreciative of the journey. Each step has more meaning now.
The majority of our ministry in February while in Cambodia was orphan ministry. Working with children is pretty tiring work, but I learned that simply loving them is what they crave most, and had the biggest effect in all we did. As the children would return from school each day, they would come by and greet all of us adults and it was so obvious how meaningful it was to simply embrace them in that moment with a big hug. It was those simple moments that ended up being some of our most powerful in showing Christ’s love.
Month two is also where God brought to my attention many of my biggest insecurities. It’s easy to ask God for growth, but in reality growth looks very different than what we imagine. There were many moments when I would ask God why he would allow so much hurt and pain to well up in me, and it was in those moments when I was reminded that growth often times involves momentary pain and discomfort. It’s a necessary journey to wholesome healing. So I’ve embarked on this journey to find more of my heart, the wild and passionate heart that God has given me as a man. I’m in the process of re-reading the book “Wild At Heart” by John Eldridge. It’s the book that my mentor and I first read together so many years ago. It’s been a great supplement to guide me through this journey of discovering more of who I am in Christ.
Prayer points:
-Due to some system errors, I am still in need of $1,000 before I am FULLY funded. Please pray about giving financially so that I may reach my final goal of fundraising.
-Please also pray about giving financially to the rest of my team as well. Links to their blogs can be found from the home page of my blog.
-Pray for more team unity. My teams name is Trotos – which means “vulnerable” in Greek. Pray that team Trotos becomes more and more unified, and is used powerfully for God’s Kingdom.
-Pray for me to continue allowing the Lord to grow and heal me.
