It’s day four, and we’re stationed here in Ongole, India. Our new team, now called team Pleres (meaning: bringing the widsom, power, and grace of God), and team Exodus are working at an orphanage with disabled kids for the month, as well as going out and painting homes. This month is definitely one up my ally, with my passion for disabled youth as well as being a little artsy.
But the challenges had already come. Before coming to Ongole, we were in Hyderabad for 5 days at our debrief. It was wonderful to see our old squad leaders, mom and pops (Joey and Gary), and rejoice with everybody once again. But something wasn’t sitting right in me then. And it turned a lot of things had happened that week that were…well, not quite ideal. But understanding that anyone can overcome anything with Christ, I just brushed off like nothing. Then something hit a little harder.
I came to realize I was missing something…again. I love the fact that I come to these points in my life only to realize to go further, I have this breaking sensation, a revalation if you will, that I’m ALWAYS missing something. Great. But I’ve noticed how being on the race, how it’s become this sequential thing, just as the tell us at the begging of training camp, but no one really believes it till they experience it: we hit the race, come to a place of complete brokeness, then turn to full dependancy on God, we build ourselves in our communities to become stronger, and then before you know it, the race is over. What happens then?
I know that I’ve always kind of had this false image in my mind of who I’d like to be, what I’d be doing, and how I could make it happen. But it rarely works that way, especially without the Big Guy upstairs. God has much bigger plans for us. But now that I’ve had this complete and total surrender in my spirit, I’ve never really gotten the chance to ask myself, “What do I want to do to advance the kingdom?”.
So there I was, near the Bay of Bengal, where it dawned upon me. It overcame me, amdist the boiling heat and. My evisionment: I want to help youth grow with Christ. But not to have them sing “Jesus Loves Me” and have campfires with s’mores, oh no. I want to empower them. I want to give them the neccesary tools to create leaders, bring the people of their generation out of a fatherless, hopeless wasteland and bring them to the promise land. I’m tired of a wandering, vision-less life that I know that will continue to haunt others if we don’t change it. I’m drawing the line. I’m done with living a life, watching people commit spiritual suicide and fall into nothingness. I can’t stand seeing children become nothing more than empty souls. Never again.
That’s my dream.
What’s yours?
