I look back upon my experience in Thailand as such a blessing. Though it was hard, I went through it with my head held high, knowing that even though I may not hear a voice, God is always there. And so from where I last left off, the journey continues to one more chapter.
So as God had helped me understand and identify myself, I start to walk in it more and more. There has been so much change, so much….well just the word “more” can only describe it. I know that when God continues to hand me things, I continue not only to receive them, but to take them as such a blessing and honor. The dreams and prophesy, the journey of finding myself, and now the next biggest test: becoming fearless.
I’ve noticed that most of my life had been consistently fear driven. Whether it be from school, to relationships, family life, the real world and getting a job, to simply the little things inside myself that keep me from doing God’s will. So, stepping out into this revived personality, I asked God for a wonderful thing, something I normally don’t do because most figure “life is hard enough”. I wanted a challenge. I know that’s normally not the thing to do, but it wasn’t out of pride. It was more so to prove to myself that if I walk in faith, that if I can step out with my own self, my personal being, and only God to follow, God will do amazing things.
So what better way to do this than to ask for a Holy Spirit walk? One night, while everyone was interceding for the people out on the streets, I asked God to let the Holy Spirit guide me on a journey wherever He thought was fitting. The point of this was to continue all the way to wherever He wanted me to go. Now, of course I ask of you readers, unless God is really pushing this on your heart, NEVER do this at home, or at least in Thailand.
I felt like God was leading me towards a dam that wasn’t completely out of reach from where we were staying at, but yet was still a good travel in itself. I went out of the house with it being dark and alone. I started to walk, and I didn’t get too far from the house, and I saw a man starting to shoot up heroine. It was weird because normally the thought of seeing a man doing drugs out in the middle of the open street would usually scare me, but instead I prayed for the man and continued walking, head still held high.
I proceeded to walk and came across a pack of dogs. There were six or seven of them, all mangy, disgusting, and dirty. They snapped and snarled, and I saw a man starting to shoot up heroine. It was weird because normally the thought of seeing a man doing drugs out in the middle of the open street would usually scare me, but instead I prayed for the man and continued walking, head still held high.
Finally I came to one final test. As I continued to walk, I stopped on the side of the road, interested in a toad. I picked it up, but it was silent. It wasn’t whining or croaking. And I noticed it had grown very quiet since I turned a corner. No bugs, no bats flapping, nothing. As I put down the toad, I figured out the reason why. Not a few feet in front of me, slithering ever so slightly, was a cobra. It looked up at me with its black, beady eyes, its wings spread in defense. Satan, himself, at his finest. But he must have forgotten one thing: God is with me. I stood there, not in fear, but I stared that snake down. It was the longest ten to fifteen seconds of my life, but I stood my ground. After the moment passed, the snakes slithered on its way, going back to its own business, as did I.
I continued all the way to that dam that night. When I got up there, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. The lake was like a mirror, with the beautiful mountains in the background, a slight mist to give it a mysterious awe to it. The moon was full and bright, along with shooting stars crossing the sky. The night was perfect.
The morale of the story? Well¸ there could be many meanings, but for me, I got a chance to step out in the new me, with my own faith, to be one with God, and to do His works wherever He calls me. When you step out in that faith, you go and follow God’s word letting nothing get in your way between you and God, whether it being a simple fear or a snake, God will not only protect you, but He will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
And now I sit in Rwanda, Africa. I’m with my team in a house outside the city of , getting the chance to really take the time to be me and to explore the gifts God has given me. The ministry we do is door to door evangelism for a couple hours a day, and then preaching at services on Wednesdays and Sundays. For the first time in probably my life, I can see the now, I can see part of the future of what God has given me, and I look towards the heavens with thanksgiving, push forward with my head clear and a full heart, and have no fear.
