Before I realized my weakness,
I walked life like everything was ok.
I said I knew what I needed to work on,
and I did everything humanly possible to accomplish it.
I saw change in my life
. I was told I was doing a good job.
People saw the change…
I made.
But didn't see the pain.
And Neither did I.
But God did.
Abba did.
And He was waiting for me.
But I let the world
mold me,
shape me,
and guide me.
I didn't even know it.
But my Father never left my side.
Every step I took in the wrong direction,
He walked right with me,
trying to nudge me towards Him.
But I didn't feel it.
I didn't see it.
My heart wanted it, but my mind was convinced I already had it.
It wasn't until I couldn't cover it up anymore.
It wasn't until I realized how deep I was.
But by then, I was consumed by the world…
of myself.
If you looked closely, you could see the pain in my eyes
when someone said something against me,
because I worked so hard to rid myself of those things.
But I couldn't. It hurt.
I wasn't until I was pushed off the edge
. It wasn't until I realized my weakness.
That God was at His strongest.
When I am weak,
He is strong.
He is made perfect
in my weakness.
So now, I am not ashamed to say that
I am broken.
Because now the Lord can use me
because I am not trying to use myself.
I can see, finally,
I can see my brokenness.
I realize I can't do it on my own.
I can't fix myself permanently.
I can cover it up. But only temporarily.
God is everything,
Abba can truly save us.
He is alway there for us.
Just fall back into His arms.
Let Him catch you.
Don't try acting,
just being in the presence of God.
He is everything.
Let Him make you,
not the other way around.
God wants you.
So just let go.
He will always catch you.
